A
female
age
41-50,
*haoscutiek
writes:I am starting to go crazy here. I am in a healthy relationship. Most of my friends are guys, which I have known for years. Lately, I have had three of those guy friends tell me they want a relationship with me. I just politely say, I am happy with the man I am with, I am not leaving him, I do value our friendship and I tend to keep it that way. I am not sure why this all at once started happening. I am not sure how to get this to end. I don't want to loose my friends. I want to stay in the relationship I am in, I am happy. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 March 2012):
 when my ex husband and I got engaged he told all his lady friends that he thought were just friends that he was getting married and fully HALF of them got angry and stopped being friends with him. He was confused as he thought they were friends.. but they were not...
they were friends with him biding their time till they could make a move.
that's what's going on here... with these male friends of yours...
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (28 March 2012):
 Ultimately, you are going to have to face the choice:
IF these "friends" continue to hit upon you, you'll have to decide if their "friendship" is so precious that you will compromise your other/real relationship for it.....
Your call.......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): The rules of attraction, and the natural chemistry that happens between males and females cannot be ignored or switched on and off. That's why the old saying that men and women cannot be "just friends" came about. Neither can we ignore the differences between males and females - not just the glaringly obvious physical ones! Emotionally we are very different too. You may know that you only want to be friends with these men, but obviously they do not know that. Seems a bit of a coincidence that three of them have indicated they want more than friendship all at the same time.You may need to take a step back and assess how you have behaved around these men, have you given out mixed messages, have you always been very clear that you are interested only in your boyfriend, have you enjoyed their attention and flirted? Having said that, for some men it's enough that you make eye contact and they think it's an invitation ... Equally, I have been surprised (shocked!) to learn throughout my life of the men who have been interested in me and I didn't have a clue.I think women are not so good at picking up the signals from men, but men seem "overly-attuned" to picking up signals (real or imagined) from women. So, golden rule, I am afraid (in my opinion) you simply cannot be "just friends" with the majority of men - they just do not get it. Millions will probably disagree with me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): Those guys were probably not your friends at all and more likely admirers who were bidding their time.
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