A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this guy for 2.5 years .He lives in Europe and I live far away in asia . We are 9 years apart and have huge size and height difference . He is 98kg, 185cm and im a little hobbit ? 40kg and 155cm ( im anorexic I have weight problems atm) . So my parents are both very religious catholics and narrow minded . She don’t accept such things as ldr and don’t believe in huge age gap relationships. She also tries to control me with the whole “GOD” thing. Abstaining from sex before marriage , no masturbation and always praying to god . When I hit my 18th birthday . She told me “I will be happy to see you be happy with GOD” sorry guys but Im not here to insult any religion . Im just really disappointed that she would rather I be happy with GOD then with myself . Also I have huge problems at college such as bullying and toxic people and my parents don’t understand anything and they keep pushing my problems away . My dad is a fearful person . He is scared of travelling in fear of all the bad things that could happen He is too familiarize with his own country that he would rather I find a local bf and not go anywhere else in the world . He keeps telling me how dangerous is it to travel and if they knew I had a bf living far away they will try and stop me from visiting him . Im graduating from college next year . I plan to save up money on my own and travel on a 19 hour flight by myself to hungary . I turn 20 next year. I know the risk . I know its dangerous . I know my parents will worry and make a huge fuss . I know they will try to stop me . My mum claims that when I become an adult she says I have to live my own life . But I know this is bullshit . Look here , im willing to work for my own money , show my parents I can support myself , pay for my own plane tickets and travel there- I don’t expect my parents to come out with anything . But I don’t want them to stop me . My bf knows my parents are objecting to ldr and very religious but choose to stay with me and love me . I plan to visit him but have no excuse as to why I want to travel that far by myself . I don’t plan to tell my parents yet. Or else all hell break lose .
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 March 2016):
 When you say you have been dating his guy what exactly do you mean by that? You have not went to see him, so I guess he comes to see you in your country? Or is this a purely internet relationship? As if it is, you need to be very careful, the internet is a dangerous place, and nine years is a lot when you are so young. So yes your parents will be worried. I can see why you want to travel, but has he traveled to see you? Or are you expected to pay and travel to go and see him?
If you don't want to follow the same religion as your parents well that is your choice at the end of the day, yes it might mean you lose a relationship with them, but again these are things you need to decide for yourself? I can see why you would want to be independent and travel the world, and I say good for you, as long as you do it safely.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (7 March 2016):
 At 19 a 9 year age gap is Huge. Add to that a culture gap, and a religion gap, and you have almost nothing in common. Then put in a very long distance relationship, and I'm wondering what your relationship consists of.
OK here is my advice, take it or ignore it as you wish. I think your plans to be independent, make your own decisions about religion, Fall in love with who you choose, and see other parts of the world are all good things. I think your LTR could possibly be a total Sham and a responsible adult would want to protect you from that kind of danger.
Tell us about the background checks you have done. Talk about how you have met friends and family of his. Talk about the series of short F2F meetings you have had with him. Tell us about the time he came up with money to come visit your homeland. Then I will feel much better about your plan to join him.
Final advice, think seriously before cutting all ties to your family. The world is a big, tough place to go it all alone. You mat need our support structure some day.
FA
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