A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently came back from a college retreat (to experience the campus and possibly apply to as seniors) and found someone who i'm interested in. He likewise. We've kept in touch for a few days through email now and want to continue that, but in person. He lives about 10 miles away from me, and we can definitely find a way to meet each other. However, I'm worried about one thing. The date. How long should this date last if it will be our first date? I'm kinda worried it will last too long (like 2-3 hours), and end up with nothing to talk about because we either talked about it online..or its just...yeah, the typical first date dilemma. I've been on one date before this, and it lasted 2-3 hours, but some of the topics in the conversation were redundant, and i don't want that to happen. What should the length of time be? or does it depend on how much fun we are having? Should I just make it about an hour so we can look forward to the next date? thanks! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (2 July 2007):
 I think you just need to go with the flow don't concern yourself with how long it should or should not last because that is just going to make you more nervous, if conversation flows then just enjoy yourself, if not make sure your friend has his/her phone to hand, excuse yourself to the toilet and then send an sos text, when you go back out they can call you with an emergency.
Take care.xx.
A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (2 July 2007):
Everyone has this problem at first, and it’s never a bad as you fear. One way to make it easier is not to just go for a drink, or a meal, where you have to sit and face each other the whole time. How about bowling, where you can laugh about how terrible you are? Or the movies? – You would have the film to talk about afterwards. You could go out with a group of friends. That makes it less of a date, but there is less pressure to entertain. The absolute fail-safe when stuck for conversation is to ask him about himself – his summer job; his family (don’t be too prying though!); what he does in his spare time; books that he likes; what his ambitions are. Don’t fire questions at him; just be as interested in him as you would be in anyone you liked as a friend. Try to tell yourself that this is no big deal. It isn’t a job interview; you are just going out for an hour or two with a new friend. Enjoy!
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (2 July 2007):
There is no set time it has to be, it can be as long or as short as you want it to be. Just be careful though, if you make it really short that the guy doesnt get the wrong idea, thinking you are leaving because you are bored and not intersted. So if you do make it short/leave early, have a good reason for leaving.
Personaly I don't think there is anyway of avoiding the dilemma of where you have those silences and you have nothing to say, its just something you have to go through in order to be able to talk about almost anything. I know they can be weird and awkward moments when you run out of things to say but the more you see each other and the more you exerpeience those moments the more you will learn how to deal with them, the more comfortable you will get with each other etc and therefor be able to overcome those awkward moments.
So dont fear those moments. I find thinking of a list of things to talk about before the date really works, that way incase you run out of something to say, just refer to the list in your head for some help of what to talk about :)
goodluck
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