A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello agony Aunts, I need some advice. The current relationship i am in is my first, and it is also the first for my BF. We have been together for about 6/7 months. I have come to the conclusion that it is probably time to end it. He did nothing wrong, and neither did I. But over all the negatives are outweighing the positives.He lives an hour away and due to distance and work schedules we see each other about once/twice a month and talk/chat via the internet.He is messy. I would never consider myself a clean person,i sometimes forget to pick stuff up or leave it out because I'll use it soon. while he keeps himself groomed and clean, his room and car are not and has not made attempt to clean it while I've known him. I know it can be a big undertaking especially since he works sometimes long hours. But it seems that he makes little effort to clear out the trash even before coming to see me and it really kind of gets to me.But thats just an annoyance in the thought that I just do not feel the connection to him anymore. (It is one factor in the loss of connection) He really is sweet and interesting (and we do have a lot in common) but I cannot see myself living the rest of my life with him or continuing to date him. I have never broken up with anyone before and want to do it so we are least (try to be) left on good terms since i am not mad at him. I want some advice to see what I should do. I am a bit nervous/anxious as I've never done this but i don't want to continue and pretend, as that seems wrong. I just have no idea how to approach it. I am prepared to go no-contact if i need to as i am not sure carrying on a friendship would be possible or good for us.Thank you for your time, and advice.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 June 2015):
 You are welcome.
It is NEVER easy to break up with someone you care for even if it's no longer a relationship with a future.
All I can say is it doesn't GET any easier, but at least you know you didn't string him along, hoping HE would end it. You did the right thing, FOR you and in the long run, for him too.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay I called him and we agreed to stay friends though I'm sure that we won't be talking for a while.
It was extremely hard to do, especially since we were on such good terms and I felt horrible doing it, but I felt it was for the best, I do not think continuing to doubt who I am dating is good for me, especially if I know it won't last.
Thank you Honeypie for your answer. It was hard but your answer helped.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 June 2015):
I would be honest and tell him you feel you have lost the connection, that seeing each other once a month is not enough for you.
That you aren't mad at him, but feel you WANT more from a relationship than you are getting.
Then wish him well, and talk about no contact or contact.
It happens that we meet someone and date someone we din't CLICK with long term, it happens.
OH and do NOT end it over text, call him or do it on Face-Time/Skype.
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