A
female
age
30-35,
*lyolddog
writes:Ok I'm 17 years old and I have just started being sexually active... I have a guy who is a bit older than me so he's quite experienced, and we have really good sex. The only problem is I've never had an orgasm. I really want to, but I don't know what it feels like or wat to expect. He often fingers me an I feel like I need to pee or like I'm gonna cry but nothing seems to ever happen. How do I help myself orgasm?
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male
reader, Tomas  +, writes (14 February 2009):
95% of the time my wife has an orgasm (and certainly how she started), was
1) start with *nothing* inserted in the vagina
2) wet/lubricated gentle, steady rhythmic pressure on the clitoris (but the hood/shaft, not right on the tip - too sensitive). a tongue is good for this but it takes stamina and a strong jaw.
3) eventually when she is ready, one finger slightly inserted in the vagina, playing around the entrance.
What guys don't usually realize is:
+ intercourse itself is much less stimulating than playing with the clitoris
+ jamming a lot of fingers in isn't sexy
+ the vagina's sensitivity is in the outer third (you don't need to try to get your entire arm in there)
+lube, lube, lube (guys can do dry fine, not so gals)
+ variety of "strokes" on the clitoris is much less important than maintaining something steady that allows a woman to find her own way to her orgasm. don't change every 15 or even 60 seconds. find something good and be willing to stay with it for several minutes if she likes.
I'd recommend you try an empty house, a locked door, candles, nice music maybe, good lube (really), and a small bullet vibe or similar for your clitoris (or else our fingers).
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2009): He's not as experienced as you think if he hasn't made you cum yet, experiment on yourself, you know clitoral stimulation, find out what works for you and translate that to the bedroom.
Show him how you like it and even do it during penetrataion if you need to, some girl's I've been with never had orgasms from penetration alone and I've had to learn to stimulate their clitoris during intercourse.
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