A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right this may sound totally outrageous but i find the whole situation hard to believe myself if i hadnt seen it all.Bascially my mate liked this guy and he seemed to like her, and i mean proper liked her. However hes not the most confident guy, i would say hes mega shy in general because he can be very big headed at times however hes always been different with her.Ive never quite understood it because you always hear his mates talking about girls with him and you would see him as if nothing ever bothered him. However e really seems to like her but thing is he wont talk to her, and he knows her well enough they are actually friends. We could never understand it because one minute he wouldnt talksometimes as if he was shy, didnt know what to say and others it was just "blank". Whereas he could be there some days and just be normal like hes talking to anyone else. He talks to her through texts and stuff if she texts him first. people used to joke about them two going out toegther or trying to hint they like each other.Thing is it confused us both and so we left it for a while never thought anymore of it until we hung out, just the three of us a few weeks ago and my God i'd never sen anything like it. He spoke to us both at the start then when she spoke to him he sorta kept his head down or turned away. One minute he was the normal guy he always is the next he just seemed so shy. I honestly think when it comes to the chase he has no confidence from what ive seen and goes into hiding, it didnt help that my mate at the start wouldn't approach him. But i think if she wants anything to happen shes gotta do it herself and i hate seeing her like this. Is there anything she can do? not necessarily talking to him about it because i know she'll never have the courage to do that but anyway to try and bring him out his shell a bit or develop things a bit further? or even anything i could do because ive had enough of this whole thing.Shy guys are always the tough ones, hes such a nice guy as well!
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female
reader, shikiraclare  +, writes (29 November 2009):
Sounds like he has some confidence issues that prevent him from making the necessary approach with your friend who has given him the indication that she likes him but perhaps needs to actually make it a lot more clearer to him as men aren't mind readers.Maybe in this situation as her friend; it would be best for you to tell her what it is she needs to do if she really does like this man and to text or write to him telling him that she really does fancy him - if she is too shy to talk face to face with him and then for you to leave her to get on with things when there is nothing else you can do as her friend to bring the two of them together.Sometimes being a friend also means to take a step back from situations like this and she is probably feeling overwhelmed by the loving support you give to her (which she needs) but also needs time and space on her own to make decisions without too much advice and guidance from others. Your friendship means everything to her, but if she is suffering from low-self esteem herself; then sometimes the worst thing you can do as a friend is to push her into being confident when she isn't ready to be.It may also be that this admirer of hers is feeling too shy to ask her out when he is under pressure from his own friends and just isn't ready for a relationship even though he likes her or just wants more time to think about what approach he should take with her if he is interested in her.I'm not surprised you feel exhausted by this whole thing when you are spending all your time and energy trying to match-make them and building up her self-esteem so maybe it's best to just give your advice then step back from it.
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