A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend, well now ex-boyfriend have been dating on and off for the past year. He was the one who always broke it off because we'd get in a fight. How do I help him over come the fights we have without breaking it off all the time? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2012): Tell him ahead of time - when you are not angry at each other - that you would like if he handles conflicts differently and that the next time he breaks up with you that you will take it as permanent.
Tell him that if he breaks up all the time he is cheapening the effect he's trying to get from you because since he always gets back together with you that means he doesn't mean what he says when he breaks up. next time he breaks up either act nonchalant and show him you clearly don't take it seriously or else YOU should make it final and truly not get back together.
Does he use his break ups as manipulation tactics to get you to agree with him during conflicts? If so then you should just leave him for real already.
A
male
reader, fzald  +, writes (31 December 2012):
Why do you fight?
Are the things you fight over major dealbreakers or just petty stuff that he's taking out of proportion?
You fist need to decide if you're truly compatible with him and if you can work out whatever differences make you fight in the first place.
That's not to say you'll never fight - ALL couples fight. It's in how you RESOLVE those fights and disagreements. Two people who are deeply involved in each other's lives WILL fight, but the trick is .. can you work together to resolve the differences and compromise when it does happen?
If he always runs whenever there's a fight, you may need to think about whether he's a good BF. You could maybe talk to him and tell him that breaking up is not a solution to a fight and that all it does is strain your relationship - in other words, does HE want to be in this relationship with you?
If he does, he needs to stop using breakups as a way out of a fight. It's petty, childish and only strains and weakens the relationship. He needs to learn to take a little time off, cool down and then come to you and discuss the issues, rather than jumping ship every time things don't go his way.
Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (31 December 2012):
 Don't bother. Get a B/F who doesn't walk away any time there is a little stress or strain between the two of you...
Good luck...
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