A
female
age
41-50,
*mily_c_
writes:I recently broke up with my husband. He manipulated me for years, but it was so cleverly done I didn't realise. It's only since we split up that I realised. He spent 12 years making me feel bad about myself, and in the end I couldn't answer the door or the phone. I hated myself because of him. I still don't answer the phone or open my curtains. He used to ignore me and talk to other women on webcams (he denied this but confronted with evidence some time later admitted it). He put a topless photo of me on the internet without my knowledge and asked people to "rate" me. He used to tell me I was just paranoid because of abuse I suffered as a child. Lowest of the low, eh! More recently he has decided to tell me I am manipulative, and that I mistreated him. All this is just part of his game I suspect. So, my question is this..........how do I move on? How do I heal? What he did to me was emotional torture and I'm very fragile....
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (29 November 2014):
Why are you still in contact with him? The biggest problem I see is that you refuse to answer the phones or open your curtains- unless, apparently, it's for him.
He is still victimizing you. You need interaction with others, positive ones. So open those curtains, answer those phones, and step back out in the world- but leave him behind forever. Cut all contact. Shut him out completely so he can't hurt you anymore.
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