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female
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*ina
writes: I'm a pretty mexican lady and I have my cyberboyfriend and he ask me to have sex on the computer now I'm scared to dead because I never have sex like that on the stupid computer can somebody tell me what I can do sorry for my english!!!I'm a 43 years old lady and he's 43 too help me please!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2005):
Cybersex isn't as straightforward as it sounds - strange people are lurking and online 'friends' can turn nasty.
You have to take a lot of care and be smart.
Many people use flattery as a way to boost your self-esteem, but people can insult you as quickly as they praise you, so it's best to be happy with yourself and be strong, emotionally... before you try out cybersex.
Know your boundaries beforehand and decide what's acceptable to you and what isn't. Just because it's right for someone else it doesn't make it OK for you; Remember that people can turn on you. If you refuse to go along with a particular line of fantasy you might see another side to your new 'friend'; If you don't feel comfortable, simply use the 'off' button - no one can force you to do anything you don't want to do; Don't let cybersex take over your life - yes it can be fun, but so can heaps of other things, so put a time limit on your cybersex activity - and stick to it.
Please stay savvy with some safety tips. Set up a different persona that's in no way related to you and create a new account just for that purpose. Pick a word at random and use that for your cyber name rather than anything that can be a clue about who you are; Change your name and account regularly; Don't give out any personal details, including your mobile number, real name, where you live, etc;
I did cybersex with my long distance b/f (when we were apart) about 2 years ago and we had a blast. Fortunately, he and I are together now, so we abstain from cybersex and opt for the real thing...wow! (100% better!) lol But, some people do not discriminate..they do it with anyone. I don't agree with that because ..it can be dangerous and I still have an old fashioned notion that intimacy of any type should be enjoyed between two people who have been together in real life and share a bond. But that's just my opnion. Many will disagree. Whatever you decide to do...remember the best cybersex is erotic sexual fantasy and it's a way to nurture intimacy with someone you like when you're apart. Some people do it by typing messages, some do it via headphones and speaking to each other and some go further and use the webcams. Men especially like the webcams but never do this..if you feel uncomfortable. To start, you may just want to type your sexual fantasies and what "you want to do to him sexually". If he's done this before he will guide you along. eg: You tell him that your nipples are hard and tight. He tells you how that makes him feel and so on...blah, blah. It's like you are pretending he's right with you and you are vividly describing to each other, what you want to do to the other in the most intimate ways.
All in all...it is fun but I recommend it for people who are in love and have to be far away from each other. I know military men (on tour of duty) and their wives engage in this regularily.
If you do it..please take care of who you are talking to what information you give out via the internet because you really do not know who is on the other end. It could be a 65 year old fat, bald lawyer from Pittsburgh or a 16 year old kid from MooseJaw, Canada. And I will say...cybersex with minors can land you in a heap of legal trouble-especially if his parents get a hold of his message history and read his text to his cybersex partners. One thing too..men usually have many cybersex partners, many men who use cybersex..are married! Be very careful!
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (17 July 2005):
Basically you write what you would do during sex on the computer.
I personally, do not see the appeal of this.
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