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How do I handle this situation? I'm so confused about it all.

Tagged as: Age differences, Breaking up, Dating, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 September 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 21 September 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, *iolated writes:

I'm 33, my boyfriend 51. We were together for four years. He helped me get out of an abusive relationship, helped me financially and promised to marry me and start a family. He took me to look at rings four years ago but never proposed. Its been excuse after excuse. Four months ago I told him i was leaving him because I was'nt going to waste my life on an older man who does'nt want anything.

About a week after I told him I wanted to move on , he became extremly loving and had sex with me as much as he could, each time ejaculating in me. I figured he was trying to get me pregnant and was about to propose. Four weeks later I did become pregnant and he went crazy. All he talks about is how expensive kids are. When he makes more than enough to support one. Everything that comes out of his mouth is negative. A baby causes depression, It better be a girl, boys are a pain in the ---, your gonna turn into a big old house etc.

I'm three months pregnant and he left me about two weeks ago. He refuses to tell any of his friends or family that we are pregnant and he won't talk to me anymore. The last time I called him I said why did you intentionally get me pregnant if you did'nt want a baby and he said because he knew I wanted one and he did'nt want me to leave him. Nothing he does makes any sense. He said he'll deal with the situation when the baby is born. How should I handle the situation?

View related questions: move on, older man, want a baby

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A female reader, Nomoredrama United States +, writes (21 September 2010):

That situation sucks...what a jerk. The only way to handle it is to focus on you and the baby. I was a single mom for a long time. Its hard, but not as hard as trying to make a relationship work when it is already doomed. He obviously doesn't want to take care of his responsibilities. You have to stay strong for you and your baby. The two of you will be okay. As for him, all I can say is take him to court, make sure he pays child support, and other than that, don't deal with him unless it concerns your child. Realize that you deserve better than to be treated like that and move on and find a man who will treasure you like you deserve.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010):

stick to you guns and leave him. Hopefully you really do want the kid and will look after it and love it. Make sure you get money from him anyway to help raise the kid as you are due it. You shouldn't be with him at all if hes acting like that. being pregnant is when you do really need support and help, nevermind after it. He SHOULD be there for you when you really need him and hes just running away.

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