A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've never been in this situation before. I recently started talking to this guy online and I'm starting to like him. We just sort of happened upon each other and we found out we have a lot in common. I know it's silly, online, and I shouldn't get too wrapped up in it but I can't help myself. I'm 90% sure he's an actual person. I'm very defensive in these sort of situations ever since my friend started talking to a guy online a few years ago and then later found out he was fake. This guy seems legitimate. The main problem is we would never be able to meet. We live on separate continents! I just don't know how to handle this situation at all. Help? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): Nothing that has the potential to affect you physically or emotionally is ever, silly.
One way that can help you to gauge if this person is real is to ask him to use a webcam so you can see him 'in the flesh' so to speak. Not that it always works as i have heard tales of scammers using people to 'front' for them. Pretend to be them on webcam.
Don't regard what you are doing or how you are feeling as silly. It is serious! If this person turned out to be someone you really connect with, you could spends years of your life glued to a computer! But then again, look what happened to your friend. Unfortunately the same could happen here.
If i were you. I would keep this online friendship thing very, very casual and not get sucked into anything serious. You can't really know who you are dealing with. It could be some old creep who enjoys chatting up girls. It could be someone angling for a visa. Or someone who will try scamming you for money, some oddball just having a laugh at your expense...or a genuine person.
But even if it is a genuine person, would you really want to end up attached to someone thousands of miles away? Someone you possibly only get to see once a year! Someone who might dump you simply by ignoring your messages after a while and there won't be a thing you can do about it. It happens a lot!
I'd be inclined to pull the plug on the computer and go out, meet up with friends and fall in love in the usual manner, face to face with someone you can see isn't fake, someone you can get to know properly. All the best x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): My question would be, what do you want from this relationship?
If you are willing to do LDR, this means that you will need to spend time together...APART.
If you want to stay as online stranger, keep it as it is. No feelings. You've heard people saying "I can't control my feelings" but oh you sure can control your actions.
Secondly, I DO believe that you CAN help yourself but you chooses not to do so. You can end this relationship by not going to that website anymore but you continue to do so.
GL. I hope others have the answers you are looking for.
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