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male
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anonymous
writes: There is this guy that works in a clothing store, and whenever I walk past or run into him somewhere we always smile, and sorta become shy around eachother, and once I was at a pub with mates, and he was there with his mates, and he was always watching me, and when i'd look at him, he'd look somewhere else quickly.I think he likes me, and I'm attracted to him, but I don't know him either, I walked into the store that he works in, tried on some clothes, and was very friendly and smiling, almost flirting with me I think, and I did the same back.When ever I walk past his store I look in and when he knotices me, his eyes follow me. How do I get to know him as a friend? without making it seem like a gay pick up, Im bi curious, and dont wanna be labled as gay, just wanna get to know him.What should I do? I'm friendly with him,and I don't want him to think "oh there goes my gay friend".Who knows maybe if I get to know him, and trust him I might open up my feelings if they get there?What should i DO? and avoid being labelled or causing suspision about my sexuality?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2006): Straight men talk to each other all the time, so don't worry about THAT getting you labelled. If you don't this to seem so much like a pick-up, you have no choice but to talk to him until you find out something, anything that the two of you have in common on which to build a semblance of a 'platonic' friendship. If you ever see him at that pub again, I implore you to go and join him. THAT was an near-ideal situation.
Alternately, you could avoid this elaborate charade and just ask him to hang out sometime. It may seem that everyone is watching your every-potentially-gay move, but most people are too caught up in themselves to spot for gay boys just trotting around. If someone's out to label you as a homo, it'll happen regardless of what you're actually doing at that moment. You might as well do what you want and let the chips fall where they may.
Good for you for exploring your feelings.
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (11 June 2006):
 Well i guess we make friends through all walks of life, but its probably more difficult for guy to make a male friend than it would be for a female to make a new female friend. Maybe he does like you only time will tell, as for becoming friends, well maybe hang out in the same places as him, but not in a stalking kinda of way, you say he was in the same pub, see if you cant make a way of chatting to him, but not over bearing, see if you cant simply make passing conversation. Maybe even when you go in the store, try and chat a bit more about stuff, things that you think he may be interested in or just simply start off with how busy he must get in the store, or say stuff like bet you get all kinds in here, something along them lines, and try and build it up a bit. but you dont want to make it look like you are following him about, so be casual about it. It might be that you catch his eye by accident, and you may be reading to much into it. Remember though he may just be being friendly, so dont get your hopes up to much in case he is just a passing acquaintance and thats all he has ever viewed it as.
Good luck
x
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