A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband keeps asking me (repeatedly) to shave (or at least severely trim) my pubic area. I prefer to just shave the sides to keep everything inside the underwear. If it was up to me (i.e. no embarrassing moments at the pool) I would stop shaving altogether, but I do like to keep the stares to a minimum, so I do the visible stuff.I have shaved it off for hime as a "treat" on a couple of occassions,, but I find it a pain to shave, insuffereable to deal with the itching and the stubble, painful to have clothing (or him during sex) rub me raw without the protection of the hair, and rather repulsive as a look in general - it is a turn off for me instead of a turn on. I am not into having him go down on me so while this is something that factors into it for him, I couldn't care less.I have repeatedly stated that I do not want to do except once in a very rare while, and that I find it annoying and offensive for him to keep bringing it up. It makes me feel totally turned off from getting intimate or even want to continue a conversation to have him continue to pick on me about it. We have argued about it before and he usually ends up saying I'm being bitchy when I get annoyed even after we switch the topic and storms off in a huff.How do I get through to him that while he might find it attractive I find it makes me feel sleazy and gross and uncomfortable? I have used those specific words but he still won't give up. I want to smack him with a very fat Playboy magazine.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010): Original poster here.
Thanks for the replies. I guess I was just venting because I have already told him to suck it up and he is indeed acting like an immature jerk. I have been doing the same thing ever since we met over 12 years ago and it has only been the last few years that he has started in on this. Maybe he's been working away on camp jobs too much, nothing to do with your free time but look at porn. Blech.
For those who suggest waxing/trimming/whatever, it's not just the razor burn etc that hurts, it's not having anything as a buffer between my cl*t and my clothes. He gets a few moments of pleasure and I get constant, day in and day out, irritation, annoyance, and sometimes pain. It's been weeks since his last "treat" and I am still dealing daily with trying to avoid my clothes as I move.
Not My Name - he has offered to shave his. I've never made him follow through on it because frankly, I like the natural look and I don't want to deal with his stubble either. Maybe I should suck it up and make him do it.
pril - it's a lot better trimmed... for you! I don't like it trimmed. I am uncomfortable/in pain with it trimmed. I feel like a whore with it trimmed.
anonymous with the shallow men - if he is going to cheat on me because of a shaved p*ssy then he can take himself off and leave me in peace. I feel powerful in my sexuality when I *don't* let a man dictate what I should do with my body. I don't want a huge house or a yacht, I want to be respected. Why should the fact that he likes it trump the fact that *I*DON'T*?!
veronica - Thank You!!! And as I mentioned above, I only ever shaved the sides since the day we met. Apparently now the expectation has changed. Probably something to do with all the porn trends and too much time looking at that while he works away. Makes me wonder how much of it is the extra 30lbs and change in boobs/proportions after having two kids. And the reduced attention because who has the energy? I hardly sleep as it is.
pyan - too bad that your wife doesn't want to do it as a treat even, but I understand where she is coming from. And I wonder if part of her reluctance is that she worries once she does it once, the requests will never stop, or the texture will change. Both did for me (it's not as curly as it used to be and I am a little bitter) and I wonder if it would have gone this way anyway or if it was made worse by shaving. Thanks for the balanced answer.
middle ground anonymous - he met me this way, he picked me this way. he married me this way. Not my fault his expectations changed. As I mentioned above, even trimming shorter is a nuisance for me. And I feel it is attractive the way God intended. So, I don't have to do *anything* to make it look attractive. Too bloody bad that he decided it is no longer attractive *to him*.
A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (30 January 2010):
 I rekon you should tell him to shave all his off. When he finds it ok to deal with razor burn, ingrown hairs, itching, spikes being irritated by clothing and wot not, ...then maybe reconsider. He may tho just decided to put up and shut up instead once he knows first hand the associated b.s involved.
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A
female
reader, pril  +, writes (30 January 2010):
Buy a pair of trimers and just trim it. U don't have to shave it. Its a lot better trimmed. U will like it trimmed also.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010): You may not like my advice but here goes: shave the damn forest. Go to the salon and have it waxed because it takes weeks to grow back and doesn't itch when growing after wax. As a woman a shaved p*ssy can be a really powerful thing to have. It can be a real trip to know that you can have a man literally eating out of the palm of your hand just because you have a shaved p*ssy. As a woman the power of your sexuality is a bonus. I used to think like you until my ex cheated on me with a woman who had one. I found out through texts that she did. He had been hinting that I should shave it but I ignored. Your husband has obviously seen this on porno and likes it so indulge him. I have a new man who has just bought me the house of my dreams and we practically live on vacation and our relationship started because of my new shaved p*ssy. For those who will denigrate me, I'm laughing all the way to our yacht.
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A
female
reader, veronika +, writes (30 January 2010):
 If I were you I'd tell him to stop being an immature jerk. He's the one being "bitchy", because he gets in a huff when you tell him "no". And you're allowed to say "no", it's your body.
Tell him you don't like being bullied into doing something with your body you don't want to do, and that he needs to suck it up and deal with it.
Oh. And also tell him to stop watching so much porn. No doubt his preference for bald pubic regions stem from porn, as that's generally the norm. He needs to learn to be more realistic.
I'm curious though - how did you manage this before you were married?
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A
male
reader, pyan +, writes (30 January 2010):
hi
you sound just like my wife, she say the same, but at least you do it as a treat. yes men find i attractive, i know i do and its a turn on for him knowing that you are shaved. so i am not sure i can help have you tried creams and used talc i expect you have. i know we men at stupid and like kids in a lolly shop at times but talk to him how you feel and what you like, it may help my wife wont. good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010): There IS a middle ground here. Many men find a lot of pubic undergrowth quite off-putting but on the other hand you don't have to shave it all off to make it look attractive.
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