A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:*OP's own title* im a lil frustrated and ticked off at this situation im in. i have strong feelings for this girl i work with. shes extremely attractive, one of the nicest people ive known, and is into alot of the stuff im into. but she has a boyfriend. she says im a great guy and she feels so safe around me and she doesnt have too worry about anything else when she's with me. we are extremely close. she's come too me before cuz her current boyfriend was ignoreing her and working all the time. basically using her having her bring him coffee or food for lunch then not talkin too her for awhile. she came too me in tears and threatening too break up with him, instead of doin what most men would do and fueling the fire, i defended him. i dont know call it a sence of honor or whatever but i couldnt do anything like that too somebody else. essentially i convinced her too wait it out. now he has cleaned up his act. i still have feelings for her but he makes her happy, when i figured this out i decided too let her go and be only a friend, basically let myself suffer instead of confessing anything. now her best friend has gotten a job at our work and she is goin some rough stuff with her overcontrolling boyfriend. im helping her through it all and being there as a friend. ive also met someone else who i am extremely attracted too. this is a third party who doesnt even know the first two. lets call the first person J, the best friend C, and my crush N. C told J how much im helping her and J is starting too get jealous. she came up too me today and said too me exactly "so i heard you've been helping C alot, i thought you where my work boyfriend. why do you talk too her so much?" it was said in a jokeing matter but i dont know i might be reading too much into it. i hung out with N only twice but she just got out of a rough relationship and i want too be there for her. essentially i want too pursue her in attempts of giving her everything that she missed in her last relationship and more. i really care about N and want too be there for her, but in order for me too do that i need too stop talking too J. because of the feelings i had for her. some friends who see me and J together say that she needs too make up her mind because its obvious that she has feelings for me. judgeing strictly by how she says "work boyfriend" does she have feelings for me? what do i do? i dont want too be with J but at the same time the old feelings still linger. i really want too be with N but J still brings back the old feelings. what do i do?
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best friend, crush, has a boyfriend, I work with, jealous, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 Dump J. A "work boyfriend " sounds nowhere near to a real boyfriend or even a future boyfriend. I think J just likes all the attention you have been showering her with. Focus on N., I think you've got better chances with her.
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