| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend (ex, actually) and I were together for 3 and a half years. He has a huge issue with my past, because when I was 15 I had a huge, unrequited crush on my then best guy friend. This guy was a little older, and he liked me a lot, but just as a friend. Nevertheless, we were friends with benefits, and sice I was immature, young, "in love" (it felt like that at the time, but it wasn't, I just really liked him) and a bit horny, I gave him a BJ once. We kissed a couple more times, but time passed and we remained good friends. A couple years later, he introduced me to my (ex) boyfriend.Everything was great until my boyfriend asked me if I had any sort of "history" with that mutual friend. I said no, and then immediately said yes and well, problems arose. Fast forward to now, 3 years later, and he sais he still cares about me a lot and that romantically he still likes me very much,, but that he no longer loves me (ouch #1). Yesterday he said he wanted to make things work, to see if he could fall back in love with me. Yesterday we saw each other. Everything was fine until my mum mentioned she saw a former classmate of mine on the street. My (ex) boyfriend knows that this girl was also friends with mt ex friend with benefits, and he got upset and started asking question after question. When he left I started crying and he said he couldn't take all that anymore and that was why he didn't love me anymore (ouch #2). I told hhim I really loved him and it was unfair that if I haven't done anything wrong to him while in the relationship, that he left me like that after I've given him everything.He said he didn't love me, couldn't help it and that it was too bad that I was suffering, but he didn't really care (ouch #3).Now he e-mailed me telling me that this has no solution, since he just saw that my ex friends with benefits is friends wih my sister on facebook (ouch #4). My sister rarely talks to him, only if they run into each other on the street or something, but to my boyfriend them being friends in facebook "means something", but who knows what.I don't know what to do. This is terribly unfair, as I said, I haven't done anything wrong to him in this relationship, quite the opposite I've been a great girlfriend. I even lost my virginity to him! I could understand if I had cheated on him or asomething like that but I haven't. How do I get him back for good? Or how do I get over him? He's exactly my type, the guy I'd always dreamed about, except he has this issue with my past which I think is something that he could overcome. I don't even talk to the ex friend with benefits, so I don't see why he feels so "threatened" by all this stuff.Just in case you didn't notice, he was my first boyfriend and love, so I've never gone through the break up process before.
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crush, facebook, friend with benefits, horny, immature, lost my virginity, my ex, revenge Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010): Don't assume that he could overcome it just because you could.
The world is packed full of miserable men (and a few women too) who are "choosing" to spend their lives unhappy because thay can't get over issues with a woman's sexual past.
A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (26 February 2010):
 Wow he is incredibly immature! You have done nothing wrong, everybody has a history. How can he justify breaking up with you for something that happened before you even knew him?!
I know it's not what you want to hear but if I were you I'd focus on getting over this guy, not trying to win him back. He's never going to forget that there was something between you and this other guy and he'll always be throwing it back in your face.
The biggest thing that makes me think you should definitly call it a day is the fact that he doesn't love you anymore. If there's love in a relationship then you can maybe try working things out but what's the point if the loves gone? I know it's painful right now but people rarely 'fall back in love' it's either there or it isn't.
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