A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:What should I do? :( omg I've never felt so stupid in my life:(?So there's this personal trainer at my gym who has been dating at me and watching me through the doors throughout my work out.My friend introduced me to him and said hes a very nice guy, I'd say hey every now and then when I see him about.Anyway, because he has been watching me I thought id take his spin class today.There were only 4 girls and he paid attention to the other 3 and totally ignored me like I wasn't even there!!:( the only time he looked at me was when I was sprinting and he'd come to me just to put my gear up but not the other girls. Wtf?One of them was flirting with him and he was flirting back.I've never felt so stupid in my life. I actually thought he was abit interested in me but I guess I was wrong.He told us hes giving out free personal training sessions and asked me to sign up and so did the other girls.I thought he liked me like I liked him. But I guess not.How do I ignore this guy and get him out my head? I'd been thinking about him a lot cause he'd watch me all the time at the gym, on the bus, everywhere.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2012): Don't ever get involved with a personal trainer. Trust me. Been down that road. It only ends in disappointment and your heart being broken.
They are expert manipulators. They are ego driven and deep down they are insecure. This is why they base their self worth on the attention of women. You will never get what you deserve from him. You will always have to watch your back if you would ever be involved in a relationship with him. But trainers, much like bartenders, waiters and dance instructors rely on charming their clients for their livelihood. It is not unheard of and very common. He seems to be this type.
My trainer had a girlfriend all along but he purposely kept her a secret. He ended up playing me the whole time. I thought he cared because he did and said all the right things. But in reality he was making sure my money kept flowing in. This is not a good person. Especially when he knew I was vulnerable and took advantage of my situation for monetary gain.
What I realized the hard way is would I want this type of guy? The answer is NO. He is not worthy of me or my time. What he has done to me he has probably done to a lot of others. I feel sorry for his girlfriend. Clearly he is not a good boyfriend. Sadly, she is unaware of everything he does behind her back. This type of person will never be capable of giving you a solid relationship because they are too busy playing the field trying to find their next ego boost or looking for their next meal ticket or "sucker." They are users and players. Very dangerous ground to be walking. A man who truly cares about you will show you directly how he feels. He will ask you out. He will NOT play games. He will not flirt with other women in your presence. He will not have a girlfriend and try to string you along. The game playing is the one sure fire way you know he is toying around with your feelings. You are better than that. Find someone who cares about you and makes you a priority, not an option.
I learned my lesson by paying a heavy price after getting involved. Don't let that happen to you. Walk away now that you can. Because you don't want to go through the hurt and pain that I did. It's not pretty and it takes a toll on you in ways you never thought possible.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (19 August 2012):
I'm sure he flirts with a lot of girls to get business. There's no reason why you should feel stupid, it's not like he knows anything. Also, getting him out of your head shouldn't be a problem...it's not like you two had any sort of relationship. You had a crush on him, you'll get over it--don't talk to him and don't go to his free personal training session.
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (19 August 2012):
 If and only if a group of women are flirting for this onr guy he will be more attentive of who is most interested in him he may probably fines you attractive but so are the others plus there more open willing and ready or bold not nessasaryly for sex but with getting to know his personality and there social so anybody that social will tend to be closer to someone he has watched but doesn't know well or doesn't show interest to be chased or persued.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2012): He's playing you.Making you feel special, then jealous/hurt by showing attention to other girls, which makes you feel like you aren't so special, then more attention to you, all to get you to think "I'll prove to him I'm special" to him, or to try to make you feel bad about yourself and then you will be more susceptible to his paying attention to you.You want to be played, or do you want someone who will really treat you special?If you want to be really special, you don't want this guy.By the way, he's playing all of you, more likely than not, and those of you who have the lowest self esteem will be the ones who get involved with him.The guy probably has an ego problem and makes himself feel better by doing this to others.Find yourself a winner.
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