A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Sorry, this is kind of a long story. So I broke up with my ex of two years, and he was my first for pretty much everything. A couple weeks after, I met my best friend up at his college and we had fun to take my mind off of my first big break up. While there, I met my friend's roommate, and we hit it off pretty well. We started dating over the summer and promised that it would just be a summer fling and end in the fall because we went to two different colleges with a lot of distance in between. Let's call him 'X'. While dating X, I met a guy named 'Y'. He works with me, and he's a really nice guy. The nicest, and most honest that I have ever met. I dated the both of them (they both knew I was dating other people, it was casual blah blah blah). So at the end of summer, to my surprise 'X' asked for a relationship. I had to turn down the offer because deep down I knew it wouldn't work. Not only because of the distance, but I had also caught him in a couple lies that made me not trust him. Not big lies, just lies to make him look better in my eyes. SO I started a relationship with Y. I love him. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me and the guy I think I could even marry and spend the rest of my life with. The only problem is X. Me and him continued to talk and try to be friends, but we both still kind of had feelings for each other, and it got to the point that I had to say we couldn't be friends anymore because it was starting to make my current boyfriend (Y) uncomfortable. The issue is, that was five months ago that I said the friendship wasn't supposed to work. Ever since then I've literally dreamed about him every other night. Nothing sexual, just more guilt than anything. It's like I want nothing more than to be able to call him and see how he is. While we were talking (me and X), he told me things that he hadn't told anyone before. That he was feeling depressed and not happy with his current relationship, and I feel that I dumped him on the curb because he still had feelings for me. BUT what I did is only fair for my current boyfriend. I shouldn't be talking to someone that I still have a little bit of feelings for and he does me. But I feel like I was the only outlet X had. And to be honest, I miss talking to him. We had all the same interests, and even though Y is amazing and more than willing to try my interests, it's just not the same. What should I do? Continue to stand my ground like have the last five months and not talk to X? How do I get the dreams to stop?
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female
reader, sneha09  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 There is hardly any way you can get your dreams off, don't be guilt for anything.I would not appreciate it that you dated both at the same time but as you were clear to both of them,I think its fine from you and their ends.Don't think you are the only person in X's life and think once how your life would be without Y.The main point is there must be some reason why you preferred Y to X.With whom you can share your feelings and can be what you are, be with him.If you are sure X is the one in your life,and can't make out without him, let Y know that but you should concentrate on yourself and your emotions rather than X's.Thats the way you can make all happy.If you want to be just friend with X, try to avoid him a little like not listening to him when he is talking about his feelings.Thats the way you can get him as a friend.
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