A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19 and have been attracted to a 20 year old guy who is in one of my classes at college since the third week in. I've known we are pretty compatible since the fifth week in. I learned that we went to the same high school together for two years (he's obviously a year older than me and I transferred to the school in my sophomore year). We didn't actually meet until January of this year.Of course, I "had" to pull an idiot move and ended up scaring him off in the beginning when I went a little too far by adding him to my MySpace and Facebook and texted him all in the same day and believe me, I did not intend to do that. I just had the resources and couldn't help myself... at first. Well, it's the end of the semester (we have about a week and a half left) and he's going off to a university in the Fall and I'll actually be going to the same one next Spring. Not because of him, but I've just always wanted to go that university and by coincidence, so has he.In the past couple of weeks, it seems like he's warmed up to me again and I'm trying so hard not to push him away... again. Or else, it might be permanent this time considering the situation. He's been laughing at my stupid jokes, giving me a fair amount of eye-contact (also smiling at me), agreeing with me on a lot of issues, and, well, talks to me. I know all of this is just friendly banter and he's probably testing the waters again to see if I'm as crazy as I seemed in the beginning. Which I'm not! I just went a little overboard and people make mistakes; I'm no exception.Now, I would love it if he and I ended up together for a long time - I'm a romantic, I think about these things, ya know? - but if all he wants to work with is a Summer romance, I'm cool with that, too. But I find him to be highly intelligent, very funny, incredibly sexy, and we share a lot of the same interests. I also get a little annoyed when girls talk to him or he talks to other girls; I do not really show my jealousy, I just kind of glare at the girl for a second, shake my head, and turn my attention back to the professor. By the way, the only other girl he treats the way he treats me is a girl who has a boyfriend of about five months (he's actually backed off a vast amount after learning this) and she's 25.Yes, it's true, I want him. I want him really badly. Question is: How do I get him?Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Who +, writes (28 April 2009):
 "I "had" to pull an idiot move and ended up scaring him off in the beginning when I went a little too far by adding him to my MySpace and Facebook and texted him all in the same day"
Not an idiot move. My-face and Space-nook are NOT intimate or private. If he was put off by that, it is 1) his issue, but also 2) an issue you are going to have to be aware going forward.
"Now, I would love it if he and I ended up together for a long time - I'm a romantic, I think about these things, ya know? - but if all he wants to work with is a Summer romance, I'm cool with that, too.'
With flexible goals like that, I'm thinking you have a good chance for success.
"I want him. I want him really badly. Question is: How do I get him?"
In the old days, young ladies like you had this thing called "coy." And they would use it to get young men thinking about THEM the same as you are thinking about this guy. Come up with a few lines you can say as you are leaving, that will get him thinking about you while you are apart, and how things could be like with the two of you together. Maybe like:
"Oh well, off to bed, to dream about my prince charming."
"See you. Maybe when I see you again you will have that girl friend you deserve."
"Bye now. Are you going to be at [next place you might see him.] Yes? So I have something to look forward to."
OK all my lines are corny. I'm sure you can come up with better lines. The point is leaving him with the thoughts that 1) you are looking for a guy. 2)he is looking for a girl and 3) you like him BUT you have not figured out you are both looking for the same thing. Make him think it is HIS great idea of you two finding what you are looking for in each other. Be sure to thank him when he tells you his great idea.
Best of luck and hope this helps.
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