A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is hard for me to confess, I have been married for 15 years and I am very in love with my husband but I have cheated on him with another girl for 5 years. I care about my girlfriend and feel comfortable with her and love our intimacy a lot but I agreed to something dumb and accepted to record one of our nights together having sex. I want to break up with her but I am afraid she might show this video to my husband. I like her and loved her company but I rather be honest and let her go because I don't think I want to leave my husband and pursue this relationship any longer. I do want her to get on with her life but how do I do this without making her mad and I don't want her to think that I was just using her. I do want that video back. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advise, I talked to my husband and he has walked out on me. I guess I had it coming he will not talk to me will not listen to me. I made a big mistake and now I'm paying the price, I hope my husband and I can overcome this. My lover took it ok she said not to worry about the recording and kept her word, she returned it to me. It even saddens her to see me so sad.
A
male
reader, dyeruz  +, writes (25 March 2010):
You want to be honest yet you cheated for 5 years? There are consequences when you do this sort of thing, no doubt you were comfortable amid all the lies yet this is your reality check. There is no magic way to tell someone it's over then hope everything is rosy afterwards, even though you thought it was all about you, you involved your husband and this girl and to untangle yourself from this situation someone will get hurt. Either come clean then really deal with it openly and honestly or continue tip tap around the issue and hope that it doesn't blow up in your face.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 if you are that worried about blackmail, then you need to tell your husband before she, or someone else, does. It is very possible that others know of this affair, and that your lover could have should that video to her friends.
I doubt she would give the video back to you...try asking her for it and see what she says. If she refuses to give it back then you better tell your husband. Also, even if you get it back, it is very easy to make copies of such things. Either way your husband needs to know in case this comes up later. It will be worse if it is a surprise.
Have you considered talking with your husband and trying to structure a more open relationship so you would not have had to threaten everything you have with an affair?
-Frank
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