A
female
age
30-35,
*topMeFromFalling
writes:I have this ex boyfriend and I know he isn't good for me so I've been trying to not talk to him. I've gone about a month so far. But its killing me. I like talking to him. But I know how bad he is! My sister is helping me with the not talking to him part but I just want to talk to him so badly. Even for five minutes. But I'm scared that I won't have the will power or strength to hang up and stop talking to him after that. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2010): I think you are doing great, even if you may not think you are. You have gone a month without contacting him, which is really strong. But it will take longer than a month to feel better about this.
I do understand how you feel, I have been there myself. I really struggled to keep away from an ex who was bad for me. I would sit at the computer, typing out e-mails, ready to hit send! But I managed to stop myself, even though it was soooo hard. And now, I am glad I didn't contact him. It took a while, but I moved on.
You can get there too, if you want to, but it will be difficult and it will take time. Why not try writing down what you would like to say to him? Not to send to him, but just as a way of getting it all out? That used to help me when I was going through a similar thing. I think it might be a good idea to plan some distractions too, for those times when you are most tempted to call him. Maybe at those times, you could go for a walk, or listen to music, or call a friend instead.
Also...get rid of his number! Delete it off your phone, rip it up if you have wrote it down somewhere. And try and remember why you broke up in the first place. You said he was bad for you, so you are doing the right thing in staying away. Now you need to focus on moving forward, not backward.
I hope something here helps, even if just a little bit. I know it is never easy to stay away from an ex, and the first few months are always the hardest. But bear in mind that it will pass, it will fade...it really will. Just carry on being strong, keep on doing what you are doing, and I'm sure you will be fine. Good luck. x
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