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How do I get the Spring back in my step? Feel positive? Could I be depressed? What can I do?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Health, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 December 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 18 December 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi,

I have some life problems that I need sorting out. I think I have low self esteem as I am constantly comparing myself to others. I'm 31 female, attractive and have a degree. But I am a complete failure in life.

Everyone of my relationships has failed and I am single and I have never gotten into a real career. I look around me and see others who are married, buying houses with partners and i long to do this stuff, but it never will happen...

I have nothing, i live in a rented flat share, and I'm currently jobless. I've been looking for almost a year, what makes it worse is everyone I went to university with are now in great jobs etc, even those that didn't either have a career or family. I have neither of these things.

I am seeing a guy (purely just using me for sex) and I constantly worry he'll stop speaking to me, that his far to good for me as his 27, successful career, good looking, confident and can get a girl his age who has a cool Job, and earns top money.

I was in advertising and loved it, but I never really got anywhere and wasn't very good at it, I did it for 5 years and never really moved up ladder, where as friends in it, started same time as me, now directors etc, I am still junior level!

I ended up leaving it few years back as was getting no where and trained to become a nurse, that was a huge mistake... Hated it and ended up leaving before I qualified.

I have been offered a role in recruiting for advertising (maybe not confirmed, sure won't get it) but then the idea of going into recruitment scares me, as I feel like I've failed! I'm in uk don't have good view of recruiters, everyone recalls or makes a face when tell them, or says that's a scummy job! Yes money great, but selling soul... However friends and family say take it if offered as job! :(

I wake up everynight in middle of night terrified as I know i have failed at things I have tried so far.

I have no great career, no man, no prospects, no clue what I want to do and I think it's never going to happen for me. I'm never going to meet someone who wants to stay and be with me, I'm never going to have a job I enjoy, or get on the property ladder and own a house....

View related questions: depressed, money, self esteem, university

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2011):

First thing, STOP comparing yourselves to others.Your you.

The unemployment issue is what brings most people down, your not alone there. Problem is these people are isolated and not in touch with others in the same boat.

Look at what you DO have. Your health,a degree,and your only 31 and attractive at that.

I would take any job offered, go for any job, it shows your prepared to do anything and better on CV.I know lots of graduates who have taken anything,from dustmen to shelf stacking The competition is huge so any plusses are helpful.As for a career well maybe try a personality test to see give you a clue what may suit. Maybe re-train, they always want teachers!

If you really feel depressed then go and see your GP,have a chat.

As soon as you take positive steps,have a plan, you start to feel better.

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