A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was reading a newspaper a few days ago and i read a problem about how a girl was upset because her friends where no longer talking to her because she was in a new relationship and she wanted to spend time with her new man, so she had dropped her friends. Now i had the opposite problem. When i was going out with my ex, i spent a lot of time keeping in touch with my friends and seeing them just as much as my ex. I have always wondered if this is why me and my ex split up. He was always a little clingy and i wanted to have a life outside him. And if this is why, then how can i change my attitude, well i don't want to because i have been on the recieving end of a friend dropping me for a boyfriend, and i vowed never to do the same. But when i go out with a guy again, how will i start not to get fed up just because my guy wants to spend time with me.Advice would be appreciated.Thanks
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male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (20 February 2007):
 I think its a question of balance to be honest. I totally agree that you need a life outside the relationship and there is nothing wrong with that at all. If he was clingy then that was an issue with him primaraily but one that you both needed to address.
You should however spend some time with your bf. Maybe you could play it like this. Make Friday night friends night and Saturday night boyfriend night? That sort of balance and communication is the best way forward. However your next partner will probably be a totally different proposition.
A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (20 February 2007):
 I had thoughts similar to yours, so what I did was that I actually told them that "if you feel like I'm getting too caught up with my boyfriend, let me know". None of my friends ever told me that I'm spending too little time with them, and my boyfriend is cool with the amount of time he's getting.
I'm always available for emergencies and special situations. And I think this is the most important thing, that they can know that if they really need you, you'd be there for them.
On a weekly basis I have at least one evening every week reserved for them, and two lunches.
And the rest of my time is spent with my beau.
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