A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i met this man 4 month ago, he stayed with me for the first week we met then we saw each other at least 3 or 4 times a week, but then he kept asking me if we could be sex budddies. i said no i deserved better and he understood. we didnt speak for 6 weeks and he text me at the end of last month and came round with a dvd and a takeaway, i really like him but he is loving towards me when i see him but when i don't which is hardly ever he seeems very off with me on texts. i havent seen him since, we text nearly everyday i told him over a text last week that i like him and i want to be with him properly, i also asked him why he doesnt come to see me he says he is always busy which i understand as he has 2 jobs i but each time he texts me and is off with me i get upset cos i like him that much. i just don't know what to do now, should i not text him or not tell him anymore that i like him and see what happens? i am so confused i also have this other man that really does like me and i don't think im being fair to him as ive told him i really like this other man but he says he will wait for me. how do i get the man i want and let the other one down gently without hurting him please help im so confused
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 July 2011):
 OK well this first man first wanted to be your sex buddy, this alone says he is not to keen on having anything serious. Yes people can change but it sounds to me like he wants something casual and is just not ready for a relationship. You told him you liked him but he never responded to that with the answer you wanted. I think you just need to ask him straight out what he wants from you and does he want to be in a relationship. Its the only way to stop all the confusion and at least then you know where you stand.
As for this other bloke its not fair just to string him along. It sounds like he is really in to you and will wait for you no matter what. But this is not fair on him. So let him go. Tell him you are sorry but you are just not interested and ask him not to contact you again.
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