A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I dated a guy about 4 years ago, then he moved across the country and is now back. He contacted me shortly after getting in the area to get together and I told him that I was married. Then suggested that he and I get together. I said okay, but only if my husband could come along.So we all went out and it was pretty awkward. He didn't say too much and I felt like I was the only one talking most of the time. He and my husband got along okay, I guess. They didn't talk too much. When my husband would talk, my ex didn't really seem to take an interest in what he said.I just feel weird keeping in contact with my ex even though we still have a lot in common and my husband is fine if I'm friends with him. My ex has just started dating someone else, but he keeps calling me and I keep ignoring him because I really don't feel like getting together -- I would rather spend time with my current friends or my husband or just get involved in my hobbies.If I got together with this guy it would feel like I'm doing it out of guilt. I certainly can't tell him that, though, because it would probably hurt his feelings and I don't want to do that.Does anyone have any advice? He's been calling/emaling me for the past three months and won't take the hint!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi guys - thanks for responding. Well, it seems like there's no way out of this but to tell him. I guess in the back of my mind I knew that's probably what I'd have to do. I really hate to upset people, but I guess it's better to tell him than to have him keep calling me. Thought I'd be able to avoid an awkward situation by just avoiding him. Apparently he's not going to let me do that. Grr.
Thanks again. :)
A
female
reader, Hanna  +, writes (19 September 2006):
 I had the same problem with mine, all I could do was show him I was over him and happy with my current partner. He eventially got the message, if that doesn't work simply tell him your never going to be his girlfriend ever again.
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A
female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (19 September 2006):
 Well first of all I would make sure your husband knew about every call and email he makes/sends to you, just incase he does become suspicious that something is going on when it is actually not.
I suggest to you that you tell him straight. Just say that you do not feel comfortable being in his presence, remind him that you are married and you just feel awkward being friends with an ex.
Ask him nicely to stop calling you and emailing you, tell him it is not very fair on your husband.
I really respect you for not trying to hurt this mans feelings but unfortunately something does have to be said.
Remember to keep your husband informed on everything though just incase this other man gets funny and decides to cause grief between you and your husband. Good luck
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