| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Before I started dating my boyfriend I had no issues concerning body image. Sure, I wanted to lose weight, but but only because I REALLY had to lose about 15 lbs (I already lost them... don't really know how... but whatever... no exercise, nothing... at least not consciously, maybe I started walking more and eating less, who knows... it was very slow though). When we started dating (he's my first boyfriend) I was 15 lbs heavier, and I couldn't care less, I felt more beautiful than ever!Before I started dating him, I thought porn jealousy was the most stupid thing... After a few months went by, I started to get more concerned about my image, as my boyfriend made comments about attractive celebs or interest in porn (though he usually made them in a joking fashion... he still does that... I guess he likes seeing me a bit jealous, as I said he always says that as if it were a joke). However I've become so self conscious and I don't know why! I guess I started noticing other girls' bodies, and started to compare. I have no reason to feel bad; he doesn't look at much porn, he NEVER looks at other women while we're together, and he compliments me on my body (he thinks I'm hot lol).But I'm jealous of those girls (celebs, pin ups, pornstars, etc). Maybe because I've never considered myself sexy, just that I didn't care before because I was single. He tries to make me feel wanted and sexy, and our sex life is good, so I don't know why I'm so insecure if there's no reason to it... I know it's MY problem, but how do I work on it? Knowing there's no reason doesn't seem to help.I guess what scares me is that yes, I've seen how other girls are far more perfect than me (he reckons that girls on TV or porn have almost perfect bodies and are hot, but they're like that only because of airbrushing, surgery, or very rare genes... he knows he shouldn't expect that from normal girls). I guess in a way that comment makes me insecure, that he just settles for me because I haven't got the money for surgery or whatever (I'm just talking about physical attraction, not love). And also because I've looked at them so hard that I know they're hotter than me, I already know this, and maybe one day he'll realize this too and will be turned off by me.I think I'm going crazy. This is MY WHOLE ISSUE!!! I know he's not to blame, he's a wonderful boyfriend... I'm the one who's kind of a loonie! But as much as I give myself pep talks, I can't get past these nagging insecurities that bring no good to me, so how can i effectively get rid of them? (BTW, I don't think I'm hideous, I know I'm attractive... at least average, I'm just not stunning as I'd like)
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insecure, jealous, lose weight, money, porn, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2008): Hi Hunny
YOU ARE STUNNING AND BEAUTIFULL AND AMAZING AND EVERYTIME YOU LOOK IN THAT MIRROR IT LOVES YOU!!!!!!
Im sending you a link on self esteem love, Dont ever compare other women to yourself ever we are all different and just bloody perfect in our own beautiful way...
These thoughts will go your cup is half full your body is more than half fab and you are just gorgeous
http://www.selfesteem4women.com/index.php
He has the perfect woman inside and out never forget that sweetpea TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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