A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am not cheating, nor do I plan on cheating on my boyfriend, but I have been with women before and he knows it. I've been feeling lately that I want to be with a woman, and I really want to tell my boyfriend without him wanting to join in (again). I love him and he is the greatest man in the world, but how do I get rid of these feelings that I want to be with a woman? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, QuartzKitty +, writes (28 August 2009):
Judging by what you said, you gave him his fantasy of a threesome. He has an obligation to give you YOUR fantasy. Tell him you want to be with a woman, and you want to be with her alone. He is not going to take part. If he objects, remind him that you gave him what he wanted, and that is only fair he extend the same to you. If he still objects, or wants to take part, it's an indicator that he regard your desires as unimportant, and is only concerned about his own desires and not yours. In which case, he's not worth having in your life.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): I agree with the other respondant. You are not married yet, so you have an unofficial (for lack of a better word) committment to your boyfriend. You should explore your fantasies and feelings now, before your relationship with your boyfriend progresses further (i.e. engagement, marriage, family). You should find out now if you prefer women, rather than having this fester until it breaks up a marriage or family.A buddy of mine lived with his girlfriend for 3 years. It became a relationship out of convenience toward the end. Unbeknownst to him, she was having sex with other women while they were co-habitating. He found out through a mutual friend and they had a sit down to talk it through. They broke up, she got the dog. Five years later, she is now in a committed lesbian relationship and he is happily married. He only gets the dog on occasional weekends when she is traveling.You owe this to both of you. Go ahead and explore now while you are single with no "real" committments or responsibilities. Keep this to yourself. Nothing good can come of it if you tell him. This is your self exploration and will help to better define where the relationship you have with your boyfriend is going.
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A
female
reader, obsticalfree +, writes (27 August 2009):
Well I'm just going to go with my gut here. This is something you have wanted to explore for awhile but when you did he had to join in . So essentially you for filled his fantasy not yours and so your desire remains. I think if he is a boyfriend not a husband yet, this is the time to explore things before a permanent commitment is made. I think you should do this yourself on your own and not tell him until it is over with. Have the experience and see whether the desire stops with that. If it does you've sorted it through if it doesn't you have to reconsider what you want. I think if you discover that 1 experience stops the desire there will be no need to tell him or you can tell him just that. If he asked why you didn't involve him tell him the truth .... a lot of men fantasize about 2 women I wanted to explore myself and another woman. Simple as that. I think by including himself he is being slightly selfish and I wonder if he would include you in his fantasy s I suspect no. Men seem to be open to trying things themselves and consider themselves to be very open if they allow their gf's to try things with their involvement. But really this is about you not him . My opinion
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