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anonymous
writes: I was having an affair with a man who lives in the same village as me. It's over now. We used to talk before it all happened, now people have noticed that we don't really talk to each other when we are in the pub or shop. I just want him to act normal around me and carry on as if nothing has happened, I can cope with that, but I haven't had a chance to tell him. What do I do?
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (18 April 2005):
 This is one of those really sticky situations that can be handled pretty well by pretending it didn't happen. After all, it's so awkward right now that you both probably wish it didn't, right? Next time you see him in town - particularly if you're in a shop and feel obligated to say something - give him a cheerful hello-how-yer-going. Just that and nothing more. Don't feel like you have to stop and pass the time of day. Smile, nod, say your bit and choof off.Say you get stuck next to him at the butcher shop. It's "Hey, Brendan. Nice to see you." Then, without a significant pause: "A kilo of chops, thanks". Anyone who cares sees you two talking like acquaintences; anyone who doesn't, tunes it out.In other words, you're probably attracting more attention to yourselves by avoiding each other and not knowing what to say than you would if you just ignored the affair entirely. Try it. With effort, you'll get past it.
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