| A
female
age
36-40,
*scar
writes: Hi... I'm 22 and in a serious relationship that has had its ups and downs. To begin: Let's call my current boyfriend "B." We've been seeing each other for about 2 years "off and on" and have broken up twice. The first time we broke up basically was B's fault. He took me for granted and didn't communicate with me about problems he was experiencing... so I left. I then began to date another man after we broke up. However... I soon got back together with B and did this whole horrible back and forth triangle with B and this other guy. During this time... I was very confused about what I wanted and felt like I had to please both of them. So... I lied to both of them about seeing them. Eventually there was a fallout and they both found out.. but B and I worked things out and continued to see each other. It's been a year since all of this has happened. I am still so disgusted with myself for treating B so badly during this time that I think it is affecting our relationship still. I just feel so guilty even still. I think about my lies every day and I don't know how to forgive myself... I haven't reverted back to that behavior at all and I can assure you that I never will! It's just that I can't get over it all... How do I get over this guilt so that I can have some self-confidence and be the girl that B loves? It's been over a year and I still lie awake sometimes at night and cry about how horrible I was.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (18 October 2007):
 dear Oscar
sorry to hear that you are troubled, guilt has a funny way of coming back and haunting us, there is clearly nothing you can do,but forget it, the more you dwell on it the worse you will become, do not spoil your life over this event,if you continue
the way you are, you are liable to destroy your relationship, and if you come clean that will destroy your relationship, so the only way to deal with this situation is CHEER UP and forget it.
A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (10 October 2007):
Chaulk it up to immaturity. Now that you realize you won't repeat the same mistake you have nothing to worry about. We all learn from our mistakes.
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