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female
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anonymous
writes: I have just split with my boyfriend, due to him finding a text on my phone that he didnt like. We had a wonderful relationship, and i love him very much and i miss him dearly. I had no intention of cheating on him, although,i do like a flirt, hence the text, which he doesnt like. He has never really trusted me fully, as we started our relationship while i was still with someone, so he thinks i am capable of cheating again! The real problem is that i am finding the split very hard to cope with, as i really didnt want to split up with him, and he was my ideal man, and i cant get him back! I dont have many friends, or family i can talk to, and i'm feeling very depressed and lonely. I've never really been on my own before, and i'm worried i'm going to get ill over this. Any suggestions for how i might get over it?? Thanks for your help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2006): I agree - wait a few days until it all calms down and write him a letter which explains how you feel, how you feel about him, what you love about him and how if he gave you another chance, what you would do to ensure that the relationship works and that trust is built up between the two of you.then leave it. If he responds, fine, if not, it means he wants to move on and so should you. Never chase anyone who doesn't want to be with you, the result is rarely any good.If so, get out and meet new people. You say you don't have many good friends, get out and join a club, take a short course in another language or cooking or painting or IT, catch up with some old friends you haven't seen in years, go speed dating, join a sports club or team, join the social club of a league sports team you love, plan a trip -go on a tour that specialises for people of your own age etc etc. There are plenty of ways to meet people so get out there and have fun. If your ex comes back and you still want to give it another go, sure go for it, but if not you will have some new friends and good times ahead. And next time, respect the feelings of your guy - you wouldn't like any guy texting flirty messages to another girl, would you?
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (26 February 2006):
 You will get over this and you may learn from it, time is a great healer.
Are you sure you cannot get another chance with him, after all it was just texting, (texting is fun but can be read by the wrong person so beware)!
Write him a letter saying how sorry you are, how much you miss him and explain if you can why you wanted to send flirty texts to someone else, re-assure him and try and win him back.
If this does not work then just accept that he has gone and you have given it your best shot but it failed and now it is time to move on.
You will in time meet another bloke as good if not better than this one and this time no texting or flirting.
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