A
female
age
30-35,
*esc
writes:Hello thank you for taking the time to read this.My husband and I have a healthy relationship, the only problem is his past. I have some issues with dealing with these women he has slept with. I understand it's not a huge deal. Yet whenever we are getting to a happy stage one of his ex's finds a way to tell me something that hurts. When we were dating one of his ex's wrote me an email saying he raped this girl. Of course my heart stops, I didn't beat around the bush with him, I was straight forward about my question. He answered me honestly. It helps that I have known him almost all my life. (just FYI was not true.)After that I blocked her, I suppose she created another.Then on are anni, She sent me some... inappropriate pictures of him and her.(She blurred her face, but he told me he knew it was her) Which sadly effected that special day for me. I blocked her again and told my husband what she has done. I know he has been 100% faithful there is no question of that. I'm very mature with my actions yet this girl is just dare I say asking for a beat down. She has done nothing but try to ruin everything he has with me. What's really sick in my mind is that she has a boyfriend and a child yet she seems to not let go of the past. I told her "You had a great man, yet your open legs chased him away" I know it was rude but I am very done with being bullied by a girl who can not make up her mind.I guess I'm asking what should I do?I tried the cops they say they really can not do much due to the lack of evidence of harassment.Should I take matters into my own hands?Should I ignore her whenever I get the hint of her? It's to this point where I look at one of the greatest things to happen in my life is becoming a nightmare to even live my life.I won't lie right now all I want to do is fight her and bring her so much pain. I know that is wrong to do so i'd like advice on what to do.
View related questions:
bullied, has a boyfriend, his ex, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (25 April 2010):
You and your husband need to contact a domestic abuse hotline and see if they can be of assistance. She's an ex of his and as such she could be crossing a domestic abuse line (it's a shot to take and see if they can help).
The simplest thing would be to get a restraining order (from a judge) that prohibited her from contacting him and any of his family members. She could also be ordered to stay a specific distance from him and his family.
If you recall last year a woman was hauled into court when she simply "poked" (on facebook) her ex who had a restraining order out on her. It certainly work as she was in violation of the judges orders and could have been immediately arrested and thrown in jail (which I hope she was).
A
male
reader, PM  +, writes (24 April 2010):
 It sounds as though you are in an extremely difficult situation. Being constantly hounded by this woman must be very frustrating, but it seems like you are dealing with things well and it sounds like your husband has been very supportive of you. Remember, good couples pull together in times of trouble, so you may want to turn to your husband for advice as well.
Personally, I agree with CarlyJohnson. If possible, simply ignore her. In my experience, people who do this are seeking attention. If you deny her that attention, she will eventually give up but it is likely she would try harder to get your attention before giving up.
If you feel the need to take more immediate action. Think about contacting her boyfriend and telling him what she's doing.
If that's not possible, you could employ a "whitelist" filter which means that only those you allow to email you can email you. Most internet providers can help you with that.
In the end, however, to react strongly to this is to let her achieve her goal. Ignoring that she exists is, in my opinion, the best way to go.
...............................
A
female
reader, CarlyJohnson  +, writes (24 April 2010):
The best thing to do is maybe ignore her and she might eventually stop but if not then have a talk with your husband. Asking him to talk to her may not be a good idea because she might try to seduce him. Get your husband to promise not to try and get back together with this woman after the emails. She will just be jealous because you have got a great man that she let go! Take pride in that.
Good luck xx
...............................
|
