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How do I get over my crush on a teacher?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 August 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 August 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Recently, I have transfered to another school due to financial reasons. At first, I was not too hyped about the idea, because I was going into my last year and didn't want to leave my old friends. A few months flew by, and I was into it.

However, a few friends of mine are transfering there with me. Everybody wins. Anyway, not the point of the story. For 3 years I have had this thing for my (now former)History Teacher. He is 45 and I am 17, going on 18 in six months.

When I left school I made a promise to myself that I would get over him. But on June 30th, I visited my old school to get an extra copy of my transcript.

As I walked to a near by bus stop, I saw my history teacher just down the block. He noticed me, and smiled.

I was there with me sister, by the way. My sister asked him "How was the baby and his wife?" He replied, "They're good, I'm just getting lunch for them." Then he asked me how my summer was going so far. I said it was going fine. We chatted for a bit, then said our goodbyes. He looked as if he were about to hug me, but I backed away. Then he backed away.

He waved goodbye, smiling, but his expression made him look as if he'd just lost a battle.

Instantly I was sucked back into the vortex. I fell right back in love with him. I guess I'm still not over him. For the past two months, I have been seeing his name practically everywhere! His first name, not his last. Honestly, it gives me butterflies, but then it just annoys me.

I'm supposed to be over him. I have always known that if we had ever gotten together, it would just get messy. I have huge plans for my life which would be damn near impossible to include him on. I don't want to settle down. I want to live my life. I've listened to his stories about stuff he did as a young man. So, I deserve my own adventures. I still love him. At times, he even reciprocated those feelings.

Well, I've decided that it's okay if we ever bump into each other like that, as long as I'm over him it's fine.

But how do I get over him? I've tried and I've tried, but nothing seems to work. He was my first love, and please do not say that's impossible for a student to fall in love with their teacher. It is possible, and it's not just a crush.

I love him for the way he makes me feel. Whenever I was with him, I felt like I could do anything. He inspires me, and has always been there for me. He's even told me that he'll always be there for me.

Perhaps I'm subconsciously afraid that if I lose him for good that he'll never be there for me like he used to.

Is that it? How come i can't get over him?

View related questions: crush, his ex

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A female reader, thats_not_my_name United Kingdom +, writes (12 August 2008):

thats_not_my_name agony aunthey! i can totally relate to how you feel, when you love a teacher, you know you should just get over him, but it's hard to let go. don't worry about your feelings, they are perfectly natural and normal. now that you've transferred schools you probably won't see him as much so slowly but surely you'll start to think about him less. just try to put your crush to the back of your mind (i know how hard that is, but try!) then go out with your mates and have fun! just keep yourself busy doing the things you love and one day, you'll find someone great like your teacher who loves you in the same way. hope i helped a bit, i wish i could give you a sure fire way to forget him! :s if you ever want to talk feel free to message me :) xxxxxx

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A female reader, Spiffeh.. United Kingdom +, writes (12 August 2008):

Spiffeh.. agony auntCouldnt put it better if i tried =] x

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A male reader, StudentOfLife Canada +, writes (12 August 2008):

StudentOfLife agony auntTrying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

Falling in love with a teacher is something that happens often when dealing with a good teacher. A teacher must believe in his student in order for them to believe in themselves.

When the only person who believes in you is your teacher, love can sometime be generated from it.

It happened to me too, that's what I've learned from it.

I believe that by understanding "why" you'll know the "how" to remove him from your thoughts. Maybe by finding someone else who believes in you?

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