A
male
age
41-50,
*ercutio6
writes:There was a girl (Miranda) that I briefly dated when I was 17. The relationship was emotional, but never turned physical because she decided that she was going to see her ex-boyfriend again so, like a dope, a let her go. We both moved on and saw other people, but it hurt me to do so at the time (typical unrequited love story, I am sure).Since that time I have been engaged, unengaged, joined the military, served in Iraq, left the military, been in several long-term, committed relationships and left Miranda in my past...or so I thought.It has been 10 years now and still I always find myself thinking about her. Last night and the night before I had dreams about her. This morning in particular, when I woke up I felt an overwhelming despair much like one gets after an emotional break-up and it hasn't yet gone away.I am not sure what my problem is. Miranda is the only woman that I can say I have felt this way about, even though I was engaged. Actually, the woman I was engaged to was a friend of Miranda's at one time, so it may have been my sick way of staying close to her psychologically.These feelings for Miranda persist despite the fact that her and I live on opposite sides of the U.S. (I moved), she has been married for over two years, has children, and is undoubtedly happy so I refuse to bother her and risk her unhappiness. I know that leaving her alone is the best way to ensure that she is happy since I cannot do it for her myself.So my question is two-part. "What the F@$% is wrong with me?" and "What can I do to get over this girl and feel this way about someone else?" Distance, time, and no-contact has not worked. A lobotomy seems like my only realistic option at this point. Help, please!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Faraday  +, writes (26 February 2010):
 You MUST follow your heart; it has been telling you what to do all these years.
Contact her "for old times' sake" and see how she feels - you never know......
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