A
female
age
41-50,
*esha
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together off and on, ups and down for 7 years. We have a daughter together which is 6 years old, that we love so much. Before he went to prison our relationship was going down the drain, he never was home, he sold drugs, he was cheating on me behind my back. So I got fed up, I told him he need to get himself together, what I mean by that was to get a job, spend more time with me and his daughter. So I put him out. Now don't get me wrong I still loved this man with all my heart, I just wanted a change in his behavior, so I had to put my foot down. I started to see other guys, he also started to see other people. We still communicated because we had a child together, he would come by sometimes to see how we are doing. After a while he was in prison for drugs, I would go to visit him, the way he talked, the way he act was showing me that he was turning into a different person. In my heart I felt like our relationship can be on better terms, I felt so good going to see him. When he got out he moved back in with me, yes this man have changed his idea of living, he goes to church with me on sunday, he never leaves the house, he has a job now, I prayed for this dream to come true. I couldn't never get him to go to church. But now here is the problem, he told me that he had a baby with the girl he was seeing when we were separated. This is hurting me so much, sometimes I wish he never told me. It hurts like hell. He told me that he loves me, and that he is sorry , and that he would never, ever hurt me again. It still didn't take away my pain. What should I do to get over this mistake he made?
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (29 October 2009):
 A female, anonymous is absolutely right!His other child is an innocent. He/she deserves to be embraced by his/her father and his/her half-sister (your daughter) and his/her step-mother (you).Good luck! :-)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): You should marry your boyfriend. A stable married relationship would help. If you are a church-going couple, shouldn't you get married? Secondly, welcome the child to your home. Try to establish a line of communication with the mother of his child and set up, if possible, visitation when the child can be in your home. Encourage him to be a good father to both of his children. What if it had been you who got pregnant while you were separated? You would want him to give you a chance and also to recognize and love your child. Do the same for him. Love conquers all.
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