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How do I get over her, it just seems so hard?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 January 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 21 January 2011)
A male United States age 41-50, *ayJay101 writes:

I just recently broke up with my fiance in June of 2010 but we kept talking for about 6-7 months. It was me trying to fix things but she did not want to fix anything.

She left because earlier in the relationship i talked to a girl online (never met her in person) and i would lie due to her trust issues. After the online incident, that led to fights. One day years later, she just couldn't not take it anymore and left after a huge fight. It hurt so much i love that woman with my entire heart. I admit that i made mistakes but as god as my witness this has opened my eyes and i would never do any stupid immature things ever again in my life. I just find it sad that it had to take this for me to open my eyes but she doesn't believe me. I get that she always asked me to change and i never did.

So recently we stop talking because i told her i couldn't be her friend she wanted to stay friends i couldn't it would hurt to much for me. Now i feel so lost i haven't talked to her in a little more than 2 weeks. It hurts so much not to talk to her its killing me and everything reminds me of her. She still talks to my sister and she says she's confused and she still loves me. But she fears that if she comes back she will be let down and ill turn back to my immature ways. I know ill never do that, but for now I'm just going to leave her alone and move on with my life as much as it hurts me. I'm so hurt and i still lover her so much. What should I do and how do i get over her and get her out of my mind it just seems so hard?

View related questions: broke up, fiance, immature, move on

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A female reader, feathery United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2011):

WOW!!! I'm in a very similar situation, virtually word for word!!! Here's what I'm doing...

I'm writing a letter to my ex, a sort of last attempt to restore his faith in me. I have fought so hard for him despite him being with someone else. I don't really want to lose him, which is why i'm writing to him, explaining all sorts of things, like how it was me that needed to change sometimes, when i thought i wasn't doing anything wrong, or how this has opened my eyes.

So i plan to send this letter and see what happens from there. If i get nothing back from him, then i will gracefully move on (and i will let him know that in the letter) but if it means we can come back together, then brilliant!!!

God i feel your pain, maybe you should think about writing to her about how you feel. To be honest, I'd kick myself if i just moved on without explaining just how i feel about the person i love...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011):

Well...what is that saying? You don't miss the water until the well runs dry?? That seems to be the case with you. It is sad that it took her finally leaving you in order for you to wake up and smell the coffee....problem is she may never come back to you and I can totally understand her stance on the matter. It takes hell and high waters to "get over" someone who has cheated or betrayed us in some sort of way. Some people never get over it and those that do, the iron of distrust is forever pierced into they're heart, mind, and soul. Hopefully you have learned your lesson and never ever betray someones trust like that again.

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