A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:so i've never been one for committing adultery, but it just happened. he says that ever since he met me he was interested, trying to always talk and flirt with me, but was shot down when he found out i was seeing someone. I was shocked more when i found out he was married but estranged from his wife. we work together but in different departments but everyone gets along and even goes out on the weekends together. all the while he and i remained friends, until i became single again. then the flirting continued. however i started just dating a new guy one month later but because his job took him all over the nation it was hard to keep things steady. two months or so after this that i did fact begin having a secret relationship with him. yet at the same time was still seeing the new guy. why keep it all a secret? because other people in the office knew he was still married and were friends with his wife. and i was seeing someone else. it was exciting and thrilling to have our secret, giving each other secret looks, smiles and whispers. as time went on, we both started to develop deep deep feelings for each other however nothing between us could ever be fulfilled because of his situation and mine. things continued for about two months between us, until the truth started to come out and people became suspicious. i told me we had to stop and that the other guy was a good guy, actually available (not married) to take care of me. he abruptly stopped calling me and spoke little to me at work. i know he is mad and sad with the decision i made but i still wanted him all the while.i guess things were left unfinished, never had that closure. i tell him how much i miss him and wanna see him but he says nothing. the other day he said he needed time to think, and he would call me later that night. he never called, has yet to call. im not saying im gonna wait by the phone necessarily but i wish he would call....how do i even begin to get over a man i begin to love that i could never really be with?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): Maybe you mistook Lust for Love?
Anyways, bottom line....Find a better man. It should have ended the moment you found out he was married. It's easier to cut ties right then and there then to accept the fact that hes married and still continue on with the affair. As someone who was in the position his wife is it is not fair to her, or you. This man does not deserve either of you. If he was truly serious about you he would have come clean to his wife and left her, 9 times out of 10 they never leave. Even if he did leave her the chances that he would be seeing someone behind your back is great (since he knows how to play that game well). Once a cheater always a cheater. Try things out with the other guy and see how things go, in time maybe you will develop loving feelings for him....
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Good for you for ending this affair, just way too much cheating going on. However, you should not be concerned for him to call you back, it's over. He's married and not going to leave his wife and life for you. You on the other hand have a decent man who is a nice bachelor. Don't ruin a good thing. Also, you don't want to go back to being labeled as the office homewrecker.
You stay with this current, available man, start fresh with him seeing as you have been dishonest. Move forward and don't date married men. It's really that simple.
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