A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A while ago I wrote on here about an annoying colleague who liked to cause drama at work and was difficult to get on with. I got some fantastic replies which hit the nail on the head about her being insecure and selfish.The good news is she has left!! But has got a job closer to where I live and keeps hinting we can hang out more (out of everyone on the office I tolerated her the most and wasn't so blunt about her to her face).She also keeps texting me to meet up for lunch and going cinema etc... I met up with her a couple times but I'm now fed up as she is still self centered and annoying. I'm running out of excuses not to meet up.Then on Saturday she just turned up at my house- I was upstairs and heard the doorbell, when I realised it was her I didn't open and then was plagued by txts and missed calls from her!I'm not the kind of person who can be blunt with someone, I don't want to hurt her feelings but she just drains me of my energy when we meet up.How do I get out this mess with minimal damage?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 August 2010):
 Well if you aren't the kind of girl to be "blunt" with people then block her number. Sooner or later she will catch on.
Though, it would be 10 times easier to just tell her that you don't feel you two have anything in common and that you just don't have time for her right now. She might get a tad upset, but that kind of girl will quickly find someone else to latch on to.
The truth shall set you free ;)
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 August 2010):
 Do you have a husband that can talk to her for you? Can you ask another friend of yours to talk with her?
What about you invite her over for tea.. sit her down, and explain that you don't know how to tell her this, but she is self centered, and as much as you would like to be friends she needs to change before you would want to hang out with her? Maybe she doesn't have that many friends, and that you are close enough to her, from her perspective, that she can take the criticism and be a better person? At least once you have said that she wont be running down your door any more... Unless it is to try and be nicer and show you she can be a nice person.
Some times they just need to hear it and get back on earth and not live in their own little bubble. She will probably storm out and be offended, but with some time she could think about it and maybe want to be friends with you.. on your terms that is.
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A
male
reader, Cloverfield +, writes (10 August 2010):
 From what I can tell, you've only really got two realistic options open to you. Cut her out, or tell her the truth. Neither option is mess-free though.
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