A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HiSorry in advance for the long story ...I was with my boyfriend for 5 years when we broke up, it was a mutual break up but when breaking up he did tell me he had been seeing someone else, i was obviously upset, hated him etc, i ofcourse told all my best friends at the time and they also hate him. However despite this been over 2 years ago, the boyfriend often texted me wanting to sort our differences and get back together. Eventually a few months back i decided to meet up and we sorted our differences and are now back together. everything is brilliant! Were both very different people but get on great and im confident ive made the right decision. However here lies the problem. My friends still hate him more than you could imagine and would really hold a grudge if i got back with him so i decided to wait a few months before telling them about me and my boyfriend getting back together. however a few weeks ago my friend asked me outright if i was back with him because she had seen something on facebook, i denied it as i was so shocked and offered an alternative to what she had seen on facebook but now im stuck. How do i now tell my friends without them knowing i was lying in the first place? I would rather tell them as soon as possible but dont want them to know i lied.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): It won't be possible, you've been lying for months now OP. Lying about where you've been going, lying about not being interested in guys or not being interested in a certain guy they think would be perfect for you etc.
OP they'll understand why you lied because they hate him, you wanted to see if things would be good before saying it openly and facing their wrath. They won't understand why you're back together because they'll know that you don't work well, that you're just going through a second honeymoon period now where everything seems amazing and that you're probably going to end up hurt again because people don't change that much in 2 years OP, you only think that but you'll see once the shine wears off you're both the same people you always were.
Just tell them, they'll be pissed that you're "that much of a fool" but as long as you don't try and force them to accept it, and you can accept them not accepting it then in time they'll probably get over it. If you can accept the criticism you know will come your way and respect their right to feel that way then everything will be fine.
If a friend can't accept you're going to make your own mistakes then they're not e real friend. They won't be happy but they'll get over it.
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (27 March 2013):
 Tough, you have to tell them! If they're true friends then they'll realise you have both grown up and have sorted out your differences.
If you lose them, then you know that they aren't really your friends. I had a similar situation. My friends were disappointed everytime i went back to him, but they stood by me none the less and continued to support me when the relationship broke down.
Just tell them the truth, apologise for lying, but you only did it because you didn't want them to be angry/disappointed with you. Explain how things are different this time.
Good luck :)
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