A
female
age
30-35,
*atx3
writes:I've been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for a year now. Beginning was great, but then it turned to hell. He cheated on me and lied to be about everything. So i finally broke up with him for about 3 months. He was my first love and everything else. He came back around and i decided to give it another chance if he could prove himself, and he did. So we started dating again. First couple of months were amazing, he was everything i've ever wanted. and now hes a complete asshole. He's an emotional abuser and treats me like i'm worthless. He tells me to come over, and when hes satisfied he ditches me for other plans. I get pissed and ignore him, but he sends all these sweet texts and does something cute which gets me right back into his arms.I used to be a happy, outgoing girl, who was always laughing and smiling. and now for the first time in my life, im depressed. I can't eat, sleep, and all i wanna do is cry. He emotionally abuses me. He plays mind games with me 24/7 and when he makes a mistake i get mad, but in the end he always turns it around on me and somehow im always wrong. He ignores me half the time. If i make one little mistake, he ignores me for days and when i finally tell him in done then he panics and works his charm. Hes also super controlling. He made me delete all the guys numbers out of my phone and my facebook. He also wont allow me to hang out with anyone of the opposite sex or go to parties, but he can do whatever he wants. I woke up in the middle of the night one night crying and i couldnt stop shaking, all because of him. My mom woke up and starting bawling her eyes out because she said that shes losing the once happy daughter that i was. She says that shes noticed a huge change in me from physically to emotionally. My dad hates him. He cannot stand to sit here and watch what this guy does to me and how i allow him to do so. My friends cannot stand him either. Everyone hates him.The funny this is that i was always the girl who everyone came to for relationship advice and i was always the one who swore that i would never be in this type of relationship, that i would always be smart enough and get out. I didn't understand what was so hard about getting out? I mean whats there to lose? Until it happened to me. and the other thing is, im such an easy person to get along with. Im friends with everyone. and i have a modeling contract. So i could have so much better yet im stuck on this one guy.I know i need to get out. I just don't know how. I keep running back to him because i know how he can be like, i know hes a good person deep down inside and its a year of my life. I lost my virginity to him and everything else. Im emotionally stuck on him. What can i do to fight the urges to talk to him? and to WANT to get out and STICK to wanting to get out, not constantly change my mind..This relationship is destroying my self being. Its destroying everything and im losing the once happy person that i was, all because of him.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 Take control of your own life and create your own life .
Make up your mind to leave him and do not waver. You will not gain anything by staying because in the end you will lose everything.
Reasons to leave;-
You will lose your self esteem, confidence, your will power, motivations, your hope and optimism.
You will be emotionally exhausted and will find that you will lose all your friends and your life will be like a prison.
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 Physical and emotional abusers are very sneaky people because they always start off kind and loving and then they very slowly start the abuse and you don't notice how bad it is until it gets to the stage you are at now. Enlist the help of all your friends and family and block this guy out of your life. Trust me they will all jump on board to help you particulary your Mum. She will be your strongest and most effective alli. She will fight for you like a tigeress. Block his number from your cell phone, block his e-mails from your computer and don't pick up the phone yourself. Always let your Mum or friends screen your calls. I'm betting that he's told you you're ugly, that you're stupid, that you're worthless and that no one else will ever want to be with you! Just one of the little tricks abusers use to hold you in their power. You don't say whether he has hit you yet but trust me if he hasn't yet it will start happening. Know in your heart that you are a good person, that you are someone who deserves to be treated like a princess, that you are beautiful, and that you are already loved by so many people. Keep this in your heart and harden it against this man who is nothing more than a piece of dirt under your shoe.
Sending you so much love and hugs and above all strength to break away from this man once and for all. You can do it and you can be happy again! Trust me I know I've been exactly where you are now. And believe me he's not a good person deep down. Good people don't treat the people they love like this.
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