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female
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anonymous
writes: i know alot of you have children out there so i need some advice!have a teenage son well nearly a teenager who thinks hes in his twenties the way he goes on,hes mad about computers,clever and a one for the girls,problem is hes so horrible to me i sometimes feel like crying hes only nice when gets things and that lasts all of 5 mins hes like kevin off kevin and perry .everybody says what a lovely boy he is a wish he would just show me some respect can any one give me some advice as when there born you dont get an instruction manual. thanks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2006): Hi there, I read your blog and what a nice 'blog' !! I just wonder how my son really feels. I don't remember how old you said you were or if you did, I think not though. Anyhow, my son is 23, behaving like 18 I (sad to say) feel. It apprears your comments helped me 'enormously' especially where you said 'spectator instead of interfering all the time'. Sometimes when I don't hear from him which is often, I just want to call, call, call all the time. Tell me, as a son, (a nicely matured young man I might add), what would you suggest to me might help to open up the communication more. If we call him, he's usually busy or doing something. He is really busy though running his own stuff, business related things so I do know that much. I just wish he would call a 'little' more often like once/week. Is that too much do you think to expect? I won't take more of your time here, I know you must be busy? How old are you? What are your interests? YOu seem such a nice young person? My name: is Mrs. Richard, Noreen or whatever you decide or think I should be called. I think you are a 'honey' though as you certainly hit a cord in me today, a good one that is. ttyl, love ... btw, I am an 'at-home-mom' not to healthy and hubby is an educator/administrator of education. take care
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2006): Hi, I used to be like that with my parents. I went through a phase of being so awful and nasty. I feel so horrible even thinking about that. I'm now 30 and I love them more than I can say, gosh they are so wonderful. I respect them so much. I was too young to realise how important they were in my life and how cool they were. Time will tell, maybe a fair bit of time but he will come round eventually I think!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2006): Hiya, i'm a little younger than your son, and my parents both complain that I act like a female KEVIN, and i find it really insulting and annoying. I know I might not be trying to help your situation but the comments you've just said are often made about me and i'll try to help you see what I feel when I act like that, and why I do.
I think i'm probably nastiest to my parents because I know that I have unconditional love from them, and no matter what I do, within limits, they'll always love me and support me, and often, I'll be worse behaved when I feel like I'm not getting attention. Being a teenager makes you feel very insecure and aware of what is going on around you. I personally feel the pressure on me to be perfect, and I often am the perfect person with other people as I feel they judge me so much more and I feel like I have to earn their respect. So when I get home, I often let all the anger and frustrations that I've bottled down throughout the day, and take them out on my family. And i know it's not fair, but there is so much pressure on young people today to be completely perfect.
I respect my parents the most when they accept that I am developing into my own person, they don't try to interfere into my life, they realise that their job as a parent has changed, they are now there to spectate, rather than to guide. If I ever go off the rails I feel much more comfortable to approach my parents if they haven't been in my face all the time pestering me.
Sorry, this probably hasn't helped at all.
Good luck
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