A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok guys so I just got back together with my boyfriend and my mom who said that she would support me in any decision that I make is not really happy about it. She hasn't really liked him since the first time I brought him home. Since she did not like him I spent a lot of our relationship lying about how much time I really spent with him and how deeply I felt for him. I really love this guy and we are seriously talking about getting married and having a life together. How do I make my mom like him. Do I tell her that I lied about a lot of things that happened between me and him and hope that se doesn't just think that I am making excuses for him? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to loose him again but I feel that if I can't have my parents blessing then I can't be with him. What do I do?
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (9 February 2010):
 There's probably nothing you can do to change her mind. She simply thinks you should have higher standards. Maybe you're too close to the situation to see it through her eyes. Perhaps you could do better. I mean do you really see yourself with this guy permanently, or are you "settling" for him because you're afraid of being alone and think no one better is going to come along later? It's been my experience that no matter how hard it is to admit it, our Moms usually know what they're talking about and only wish good things for their daughters. Instead of trying to change her mind, maybe you need to look closer at this guy and determine if he meets your standards or could you do better?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice everyone. I talked to my mom last night about the situation and she said that she doesn't like him just because he is a goofball. He has never really done anything she just doesn't like him and thinks that he isn't good for me. So is there anything that him or I can do to fix this?
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A
female
reader, curious0hot +, writes (2 February 2010):
 "Do I tell her that I lied about a lot of things that happened between me and him and hope that she* doesn't just think that I am making excuses for him?"
So, your mother doesn't like this guy because he has mistreated you in the past? I don't think you can blame her for that.
Your boyfriend needs to be the one to show her that he is a better person. If he isn't interested in doing so, that tells you something right there...
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (1 February 2010):
First of all do you have any idea why she doesn't like him?...This would be the first thing you need to figure out (if you don't already know) and then depending on the reasons she gives you, we will be able to answer your question better.
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