A
female
age
30-35,
*essa90
writes:i'm lesbian and two weeks ago my girlfrind broke up with me after nearly three months. Its a long distance relationship. At first our relationship was great but there were issues. She'd tell me i upset her or made her angry because i didn't always trust her fully. I didn't always realise that i was coming across as not trusting and i hurt her sometimes. I know that i treated her badly. But we'd always make it up if we had a small fallout we'd make up on the phone we couldn't in person because we are in a long distance relationship. Her family and she is very religious as in churchgoing Christians. Her family know she is gay but don't accept it. she told me this and she told me things like she wants to choose both her family and me. The last fallout we had was due to a misunderstanding. We'd been talking on a dating site. Then she told me she was going offline so we said goodnight but the site continued to show her as being online. i sent her message asking her to come offline if she told me she was going to bed. she fell out with me because she thought that i assumed she was chatting to other girls on that site. But she'd tell me when we made up that the site shows for a few minutes she's online when she's gone offline. But when she answered the phone when we made up she said why do you treat me like that? i told her how very sorry i was. I asked will she forgive me and she said yes i'm doing that. i asked her how can i make it up to you? she said i have no idea. We talked online and things seemed fine for the next week. Then she just said to me whilst chatting on email that she just wants to be friends. i asked her what was the reason? she told me it was her faith and its a sin to be sex chatting with another girl. i told her if god exists he loves you whether your gay or not. she said i know but he doesn't like gays. We came offline and a bit later i phoned her. she gave me the reason about religion she believes that when she dies she has to tell god what she did in her life. I asked her is it to do with before? she said no it wasn't it was religion. Then added and when you keep doing that it piles up. I asked would she like to think about giving us another try? she said i can't but said she loved me as a friend and told me i was special and always in her heart and she still wants to meet me in real life. We spoke online for a bit the following day. i asked her for another try she said i will love as friends but not lovers. then later on went offline saying she'd be back in two hours.We didn't contact each other for two weeks and it was her that made first contact by email. i emailed her back saying how sorry i was for everything. Her reply was it ok babe you don't need to be sorry. I said back i will treat you well i promise and she responded its fine babe. Then i said from the day we started talking i felt a special connection. she said aww sweet. I asked would she like to give another try? she said i'm sorry babe i can only be your friend. so we continued to chat as friends.Can someone tell me how i can get her back? i think the two weeks was the no contact phase and i think is it a good sign that she wants to be friends? maybe there is a posibility if she is still friendly with me? i really do regret when i treated her bad. and i think her reaons were down to that more than religion. and if both reasons are true how can i convince her that one our relationship deserves another chance and two i don't want to lose her for good over religion because a religion says or her family told her sh's wrong being gay? please can someone give me exact steps on how to get her back? exactly what to write? because her phone is cut off until she pays her bill. please can i have help exactly what words to say? thanks for the help and sorry for the long story
View related questions:
broke up, christian, lesbian, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (30 June 2012):
 I'm sorry to say this and you wont like it, but you dont need her back.
After only 3 months of have all these issues, 3 months is nothing.
Dont you feel like you deserve more, like a girl that lives closer you can actually spend time with?
Im sorry but it really would be better to let her go and focus on moving on.
A
male
reader, grymsoul  +, writes (29 June 2012):
 I would let her go for good. To be honest it sounds as (if she's using religion as a crutch to end this relationship. She was religious before she met you so why bring it up now? She realized that she wasn't truly happy with you so instead of saying so, she used religion as a way to exit the relationship. Also, put into the picture the fact that you guys are LD, her parents are against the nature of the relationship and she realize that a traditional family with another girl is impossible, there are just too many obstacles in her path. I'm afraid that her love for you isn't strong enough for those negatives. You say you want to show her that you can be better for her this time around. Why? She's already made her choice. She doesn't see you as the one she could live happily with. If she did, she wouldn't let obstacles enter the relationship. Also, from personal experience in LDR and a relationship with a gay girl. I know that sometimes they tend to want someone different, someone who can give them a family, someone closer to keep them warm. You can do neither of these things. I think you know that its time to move on. When you accept the facts. Moving on will be easier for you.
...............................
|
