A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am having trouble getting my ex off my mind. It is strange because we haven't been together in over a year, and I don't feel sad about it anymore, but still I think of him all the time even though we don't talk and I am in a new relationship now. It was so hard for me to get over for such a long time because it was a complicated break up, he broke up with me because he was having a lot of personal problems with his family and financially and felt like he needed to get his life back in order and didn't want to drag me into it. After that we were still very close and became good friends. I was completely over it, dated other people and he did too. He dated a girl for a few months and they ended up fighting all the time and broke up, well after that we started to have feelings for each other again and started dating again. Then he found out a month later that the girl he was dating before was pregnant. So, he went back with her and is still with her now, which I understand, but I always felt like there was such a strong connection between us.I don't want to try and be with him again, I just want to get him out of my head and I want to be close with someone like that again. I am in a relationship now and I really love this guy and he is a great guy, but I still think about my ex and how much fun we had together all the time and I wish I could have that again. What do I have to do to get over comparing every relationship to my ex?
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male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (7 May 2008):
 This is a simple suggestion. To me, it sounds like you need to build new fond memories with your new boyfriend. Go out to dinner, museums, shows... whatever you guys like. The more fond memories you build together, the old ones will simply turn to plain memories of things you once did.
Good luck!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): wow...scary! its like your writing my story theres alot of simalaritys lol, feels good to know i aint alone on it ,and for whatever its worth u arnt either.
its difficult i know but as they say as time goes on it gradually gets better i find it does.
Not having the contact with them as hard as it is is the best thing.
I dunno what elese to say really lol...i want the same magic answer your looking for lol
all the best hun
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A
female
reader, softballplaya +, writes (6 May 2008):
 okay hun. I totally understand and its normal, What you need to do is find a couple flaws in your ex and focuz on them..Do you really wanna be with someone who is like this or that? those are a few things you could ask yourself. See the positive in your new guy, that always helps. Have a night with friends and enjoy yourself, or do something fun with your new guy. It will never ever be the way it was unless you want it to but I must warn you that you will lose someone if you want your ex back, which it sounds like you do (no offense) Its always different after a break up, it will never be the same and with the feelings you have for him it will only get harder. I dont know his feelings so I cant say how it will be for him but your hurting yourself and thats not fair to you. If I were you hun I would cut him out of my life because having him a major part will only make you miss him and want him more (also consider your new bfs feelings as well) Think about the saying "Out of sight, Out of mind" Having him out of your life completely will take your mind off him. Stop reminising in the past and focus on your future with someone new. Dont worry Things will all work out for you, I promise you that
Hope I helped you out!
take care && Good luckk=]
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A
female
reader, sweetheart03 +, writes (6 May 2008):
Its all memories and that's ok but to stop comparing I would say think about how good the new guy is and the things you like about him. But I think you guys have in finished bizz that's why its on ur mind u wonder what it would be like if you was wit him! So try and not look in the past but the future with the new guy or who ever you may meet. Look forward to that and find that specail someone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): The truth of the matter is you are not over your ex. Everyone is different when it comes to getting over someone they truly love....it can take weeks or sometimes years to really let it go. In the meantime we have to force ourselves to go out and do things just to keep our mind off that other person. Maybe the person you are with right now is not for you....and you value the qualities your ex had that this person does not. I hate saying this because everyone said this to me when I was trying to get over my ex, but it does take time. You'll always have those wonderful memories to look back on.
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