A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:okay so me and my old man have been togather for 2 yeARS and he hasnt been making love to me for the past 3-4 dAYS AND I DIDNT KNOW WHY well he was taking medicine and he was being mean to men for days and he asked me to last night but he couldnt even get hard and he said to me when he was down there that it was loose and he could stick 4 fingers in it and i know that is a lie he is the only man i have slept with willingly !!! how do i get my husband to love me agian and have sex with me he has never said anything like that to me before ever ! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Garbo +, writes (15 August 2015):
 As Asexually Confused alertly points: What do you mean by the quip that "he is the only man i have slept with willingly !!!"
Has there been men with whom you slept unwillingly?!
A
female
reader, 2422 +, writes (15 August 2015):
I feel like getting upset to 3-4 days of not having sex is a little premature. If he is taking medication then it might be that. It could be putting him in a bad mood or he could be self conscious about not being able to perform. Talking to him and telling him how you feel is a good option. Let him know that you don't appreciate him treating you like that but also be willing to hear him on what may be bothering him. Sometimes we are mean to those closest to us when we are going through something tough. I've been on both ends of that situation. So just have an open conversation with him about what is going on. I think it will also give you insight into whether or not he is being mean just to be mean or if there is a reason behind it. but if this is not the norm then it might be a good idea to give things some time. Stay positive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2015): What kind of medicine is he taking and why is he taking it?
The medicine may have side-effects that keeps him from getting hard. If you take certain types of allergy medications, it can effect your ability to maintain or get an erection. It even says so on the label. Read the label on his medication.
If you came at him being accusatory as to why he isn't making love to you, he came back with his own accusations in defense. Sometimes women don't really want sex; they just get suspicious, if their man doesn't seem as interested in sex. That really pisses men off! Seriously!!!
Men are not machines, and just because you have a vagina doesn't guarantee he will get an erection each and every-time you demand he does. Just like you, sometimes he doesn't want sex with you. If he's being mean to you, why would you want sex with him while he's in a bad mood? That doesn't make sense.
You're leaving out a lot in your story.
He may have accused you of feeling loose; but I suspect you accused him of cheating as well, for not rising to the occasion when you demand that he does.
If he continues to be mean and nasty. Find out if he's taking that medicine, and mixing that medicine with other drugs and alcohol. That might be the problem. If he gets meaner and nastier, kick him out.
Don't keep a nasty mean abusive man around you. Leave or kick him out.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 August 2015):
 It's not that you are loose. He is having erection problems and blaming it all on you. It could be health issues or the side effects from the medicine that he's taking. I can understand why he doesn't want sex now, but I don't get why he has never said he wanted to make love to you before. Sex and attraction is the main reason men get with girls so without that desire, I don't really know why he is with you. I guess he wants to be able to have sex. He tried but couldn't. There are non sexual ways to show love. Now is not a time to focus on sex. You also have to decide how long you can be celibate, and whether his health can improve in the future. You have to tell him you can only be supportive if he stops being mean.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2015): First of all, "old man" usually refers to your father, so that made me giggle.
Secondly, 3 - 4 days isn't that long, especially if he's just started new meds (what for?)
Thirdly, being looser down there doesn't mean you had to have slept with anyone; it can change from day to day.
Lastly, this doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Relax; stop pressuring him and stop assuming the worst.
Actually, what do you mean "the only man I have slept with willingly"?
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