A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with a woman in a long distance relationship for about 1.5 years, but she broke up with me half a year ago and i still love her so damn much! She recently got a new boyfriend but that already ended within 3 weeks for whatever reason. I love this girl and feel obsessed about her, and i want this woman so much to come back into my arms!!! She always wanted me to be a good friend of her's since she broke up, but i cannot leave her, and neither can I stop loving her! I don't know what to do anymore as everything is coming back again since she broke up with that new guy as well! There is nobody else i want more than have her back! Please somebody tell me how to make me feel less desperate and get her back?! Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): It sounds as if she really is passionate about her future career and that is means the world to her - it doesn't mean that you do not mean the world. I understand how this feels and was and still am the same about my career.
I think if you want to be with her you have to find a way of making it work and also ask her what her long term plan is. Does she want marriage one day? So if she can see you being together when? Make it clear that although she means the world to you, no guy can wait around for her forever- although you are prepared to take it easy and make it work. Perhaps she is overwhelmed and can not fathom how it can work - how she can have two distractions - if this is the case and it probably is, then you would need to be practical and re-assuring about your future together and give reasurance that meets her needs.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe does say im very special to her though and that her relationship with that other guy is not that serious! ...she in fact starts crying or gets desperate when i try to not talk to her anymore to let her go... now she just wants me to give her time do let her do what she think she needs to do on her own for her carreer and to think about us coming back together in the future maybe.
i guess i cannot force anything neither will i be stupid enough to try, but it sure is quiet annoying and i really really want this girl! distance sucks though, but she knows i am going her way straight ahead!
how do i deal with a woman like this or should i really just let it go? i dont get her changing mind all the time!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2011): It really depends on why you broke up.If it was for good reasons, then you must realise it can take a long time to get over someone, and take heart and move on.If it was not for a good reason and you genuinely can't fathom why it should not work out between you, perhaps you can contact her and write her a sincer letter wishing her well in her life and ask her for some closure. Then pose the question about if she feels that things could change between you. Try and have a calm open conversation rather than a desperate one. But do tell her that you love her if you feel that she is certainly the one for you and explain as best you can the future you would propose to have with her.
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A
female
reader, MintyGirl  +, writes (3 March 2011):
 you cant make someone fall in love with you,
there must be a reason why u two broke up in the first place.
she must of already gotten over you because she's had a new bf already.
however you seem to linger around her,your going to make it worst for yourself , especially if she no longer loves you.
but nothing lasts forever, including pain.
You will eventually get over her, and u will think back to youself, why did i even like her.
right now u cant see it. BUT it will past.
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