A
female
age
30-35,
*ptimus
writes:i am a 17 year old girl, i turn 18 in 3 weeks. my boyfried is 26. we love eachother very much and things are going really well between us... however, some of my family, especially my parents dont approve and say it is morally wrong and some of my mates that he is 'grooming' me as a joke but as the sayin goes, 'many a true word is said in jest.'so im not sure... personally i dont think he is... and i have never felt as safe before as i do with him!personally i have no issue with it and it wont affect our relationship on my part in the slightest, however, the other day i was told that it was actually illegal... is this true? and am i doing the right thing?i am welcome among his family and they all accept us, in fact they welcome me with open arms, but my family wont even let him into my house and my dad says its one step away from peadophilia...however my dad is kinda old fashioned...im really not sure how to get my family to like him, i cant let my dad meet him because i feel it would ruin everything... my dad can be kinda vicious...i could really do with some help, i need advice on how to make my dad like my boyfriend... and i need to know if what im doin is illegal or immoral...because i love him... i dont want things to be ruined Reply to this Question
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female
reader, gemmaxxx +, writes (11 July 2009):
 it don't matter wot he thinks bbe. if he do'nt like him but u do then that's all that matters. x gd luc
A
female
reader, optimus +, writes (9 July 2009):
optimus is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust wanted to say thankyou to everyone you have really helped me put my head in the right place... for now at least =]
thankyou
optimus xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): its not illegal immoral not at all, i was 18 when i met my partner and he was 26 nobody batted an eyelid 14 years on and still together, my advice see him till your actually 18 then tell your dad he either has to deal with it like a man or put up with it..
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (8 July 2009):
 An age gap is always difficult to judge. I think your father sees it as man who really should be a fully grown adult by now with a career, a house etc etc trying to date his daughter who is STILL living at home and might be (in his eyes at least) still a teenager.
Quick check, do you get an allowance? If so, then you are a child and childeren do not date men rapidly closing in on their 30's.
This probably is not what your dad imagined. He is trying to protect his little girl.
You can't get him to like your bf just like that. over time, if the bf proofs he is not what your father thinks he is then your dad will most likely come around.
But in the meantime, do ask yourself why an adult male is dating a schoolgirl.
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female
reader, laura585  +, writes (8 July 2009):
You can't "make" your dad like him. Even if your boyfriend is the most wonderful guy on the planet it doesn't mean your dad will like him. He has to give him a chance first- and it doesn't sound like he's planning on doing that anytime soon. I would say just keep your head up and don't let it bother you IF this is legal in your country. Over here legal age is 18 but I've heard it's 16 in some other countries. Find out the laws where you live- if it's illegal you may want to heed your parents warning for a few years, your boyfriend could get into a lot of trouble! BUT if it's not illegal then just keep on in your happy relationship- your parents will have to eventually accept him, or in the least- accept the fact that you're dating him. Good luck to you both!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): Its not illegal dont listen to these silly people who clearly dont know anything of the law.
If u love each other thn stick together & dont listen to peoples stupid jokes.
All the best
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female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (8 July 2009):
There really isnt anything that you can do right now accept try to have a healthy relationship your dad isnt going to change his mind until you are of age and prove that this man isnt just using you, If you seriously think about it he is kind of grooming you into what he wants you to be only because you are so young and you will do what he wants most of the time because you want to make him happy so just stay true to yourself and let your dad vent eventually he will see that you are happy and move on to other issues and he will have to meet your dad and explain your relationship to him so that will have to happen you have no choice and if he doesnt man up and meet your dad face to face your dad will never respect him and they will never get along.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): I'm not sure how your dad can like him unless he is willing to give him a chance when he meets him, sorry! He could get used to the idea in time, but he does sound pretty set in his ways, so the only way I can see that he'll accept your boyfriend is by seeing how happy he makes you and that he's not taking advantage of you in any way. I don't know what the laws are in your country, but I"m sure you could look it up on the net. Here in Australia, as long as your over 16 nothing is illegal and you're deemed old enough to make your own choices. You say you've never felt as safe with anyone as you do with him, so that means that the two of you are equal I think, and the age difference has nothing to do with your relationship. I am 24 and my current relationship with a 39 year old is the most wonderful I have ever experienced. I think generally speaking (there are always exceptions) older men match your maturity level more and have more experience which helps them contribute to rewarding relationships. I don't think it sounds like he's grooming you - if he is you will know it deep down.
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (8 July 2009):
 I don't think that it's immoral. I had a friend who was 22 and dated a 16 year old. Now she is legal and they have been together for two years or more. What is going on is illegal, but take heart, hopefully you will be 18 soon!You can't "make" your dad like him. Stay with this guy, but when you are 18 tell your dad that you are a grown woman and have the right to date whomever you want.
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