A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Afternoon All!Im hoping to get some advice. I've been seeing this guy for a few months-we met at a theatre group and got on really well.He's 19 im 21. The problem i have is with his dress sense. For work he wears nice suits but when we go out he is always in combat trousers,trainers and t-shirts which is fine for going shopping or just chilling out in but he wears it when we go clubbing and go out for dinner etc...It makes him look younger than what he really is.What embaressed me the most was when we went out for a meal for my birthday to a posh Italian restaurant and several of my friends with their boyfriends joined us-eveyone one of us was dressed smart and the guys had smart jeans and a shirt on and my bloke was in his usual combats and t-shirt!!! My friends commented to me later that evening that he looked scruffy to which i agree.When we go to town i take him to various,trendy shops and we look at clothes together-i even treated him to a nice shirt which he has never worn!!! How can i ask him to smarten up when we go out without being hurtful?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009): I'm the kind of guy that wears those clothes everywhere and i don't see the issue others have with it.
But i do get the whole smart casual thing, you have to stick to his style, not something you think looks nice but something that's comfortable yet not too casual.
Shirts are bad, nearly every guy you see out wears shirts and jeans, that's boring as hell they all look the same. He wears those clothes because like me he probably doesn't want to be one of those sheep.
Ask yourself if you really want him to fit in with the crowd or was it his wish to be something different that attracted you to him, do you really want to change that?
Anyway a pair of faded jeans and a black comfortable sweater should be a smart enough look, as long as the clothes are new anyway.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (3 January 2009):
 Okay this takes a great deal of finesse but it is possible to STEER him towards the better outfits but you have to make it appear that he's doing the selections. My husband has the fashion sense of a turnip so I speak from 33 years of experience. Pick out two or three (you don't want to confuse the little dear but make sure you like all of them) and ask him which one he likes best then compliment him on his excellent taste. Do the same with pants, sweaters etc... Remember that if the clothes aren't comfortable he won't wear them, unlike women, men will go for comfort over fashion everytime. It's lots easier once you are married but slowly you may be able to build a wardrobe that he likes and you like.
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