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How do I get more than "yes" and "no" answers out of him?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 June 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 June 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So me and my boyfriend are both pretty shy people. He hasn't had a serious girlfriend before me, so I'm not sure if he just doesn't know what to do, or if he's just really shy, but he wont talk to me properly.

We're both not talk-on-the-phone type people, we prefer face to face or texting, but he's the kind of guy who gives the two word responces to my two sentence text. Usually it's a responce that's not that easy to reply too, so I makes me feel like I'm totally clingy when I keep texting him and he gives one word repsonces. So I end up just not texing him.

We're coworkers, so that's usually when we see eachother since neither of us has lots of money to spend going out. When we work is also usually when we'll talk. So if we work together on monday, I wont talk to him again 'till we work together later in the week. It's a little weird to me.

When he first asked me out, we texted back and forth for the majority of two days. He took a while to ask me out again after that, and since then I'm usually the one to text him first unless he has a question for me.

This ends up making me feel horribly confused and clingy when I text him. Is there a way for me to talk to him without seeming clingy? Or maybe reword my texts to get more out of him instead of yes or no answers?

P.S. He has just gotten to the point of actually calling himself my boyfriend, he admits that he doesn't really know what to do in a relationship and takes things pretty slow (which I don't mind at all) so our relationship is fairly new and in the works.

View related questions: co-worker, money, shy, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yeah I usually do try to ask questions like "How was your day" and he'll usually say something like "Good, you?" and I'll reply with something like "Good, I did blah blah today." which he'll usually end with something short like "Thats cool". I know most guys talk short like that, I just feel weird trying to keep it going after that and if I don't we end up not talking until I see him again.

I mean, I talk to my friends 24/7 so it makes me uncomfortable that my boyfriend won't talk to me unless I act clingly - which no one likes that. And I have tried to casually bring it up with him but he acts like it's all normal. Should I just learn to live with it?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009):

If you want more than "yes" or "no", then don't ask a closed question. Use "how,why,where,who,when" to ask an open question that leads to a discussion.

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