A
female
age
36-40,
*achel rae
writes:i just want my bf to want to spend more time with me... he says its impossible to send a lot of time together but the truth is its just too much work for him and he doesnt want to...how do i get him to want to be with me more??? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): willywombat has great advice, play hard to get, My wife is the same as your man here, and it works to blow her off, its fun. I used to think it wrong but hey she's with me. and he with you, its just a reminder. Otherwise you can sign it off, this works because they are abusing your constant desperation for their attention, I found that having a friend of their sex speeds things along. If you dont they'll be off on some one else while your babysitting so hurry up and play amis today, heck if it doesnt work we can set up a date and kill two birds with one stone, Hope this helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): Let's evaluate.
How much time does he spend with you? Does he go to school, work?
Are you being realistic in asking for more time? Are there other factors you are failing to take into account?
Have you experienced this unsatisfied belief that your needs are not being met in previous relationships? Do you feel abandoned? Can this be associated to your childhood where you were raised in a single parent home or had one parent not be emotionally present for you or one parent was absent?
Why would BF say it is impossible? Are those exact words or what you took away from the conversation?
That you are already pre-determining that it is too much work for him has my spider senses tingling and that he doesn't want to...signifies to me that you have issues with not being worthy enough; that you see this as rejection and abandonment and again...this usually stems from childhood and will have you re-inacting out this trauma until you identify and deal with it.
So please answer some of my questions so I can get a better feel and a better understanding what the real issue of complaint is so I can better help you?
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (23 January 2007):
 My tip....stop appearing so desperate. Get yourself a life where you have to make time for him instaed of the other way round. Make him WORK for a smidgeon of your time, make him grateful to have you by backing right off. Whilst he has you on tap, nice and easy he does not value his relationship with you. Reverse this dynamic, don't always be available to see him or take his calls. Be busy. game plaing? Yep! But it WILL work with this guy I promise you.
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