A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My partner of 4 years is 13 years younger than me. He is totally committed to me, or appears to be, but he is very naive sexually and emotionally. He refuses to talk about anything to do with either subjects and is very much a 'lights out, under the duvet' man. I am not that kind of woman and he says that was one of the things he first found attractive about me! How do I get him to realize that sex can be fun, and exciting. I always thought it was the man who wanted more and the woman who said no. Well this is total role reversal! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (10 June 2008):
 Lots of men don't like talking about it, but you say that one of the things he first found attractive about you was that you're NOT a "lights out under the duvet" person. So you really do need to take the lead.
Assuming it's naivety rather than a real fear or actually not wanting it, then as you say it's a total role reversal. That doesn't have to be a problem. He'll soon get the idea! Leap on him. Show him it can be fun. Embarrass him (just a little) in the bedroom. Pull the bed covers off him and turn the light on - then grab it.. um, I mean grab him. Wrestle, romp, chase him round the bedroom... Throw yourself naked on the bed in front of him and shout "Take me, big boy!"
If he's a normal man he isn't going to mind any of that. You'll soon shake him out of any shyness!
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