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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi its me again from yesterday i asked about my ex b/f who left me. Now he is saying he just wants his stuff and i cannot ever have his love anymore that i pushed him away. he wants to come over to do the yard but i told him thats okay i can do it myself. why would you want to have nothing to do with me but want to come help me out by doing yard work? do i give him all his stuff back( i did buy everything he has) and the only reason he has a job is because he works for my mothers company as the supply boy. he gave me the car back i had bought so he could get to work each day. all he could ever afford was insurance so he never paid any bills. but even though he had nothing, i always was his best friend and lover, he never took advantage it he was always greatful . do you think his pride is hurt that he cannot provide for me or do you think he just wants to go out all the time? i really think he is the one i always get butterflies after 4 years. how do i get him back do i just ignore him? ive told him i sorry, ive told him i want him back, so now whats next ? he always told me he was with me because he loved me and cared if thats true why did he leave? whow do i get him back for good?
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (27 September 2006):
 When he comes to get his stuff give it to him, give him his space you've told him you love him and that you want him back nothing else you can do, if he wants to come back he will but be prepared even after space he still may not come back, either way you can't make him do something he doesn't want to do and even if he did it would be for the wrong reasons.
I would do your yard yourself as you don't want him thinking you need to rely on him for anything as all the time he feels he has a place there he won't get a chance to miss what he hasn't got anymore and want it back (if that is the case).
Good luck :o)
A
female
reader, valmaniac +, writes (26 September 2006):
I love lostandalone's answer. I have almost the same ordeal going on. I'm in grad school & have money, my currently 'ex b/f' quit college because he ran out of money, he started doing construction which pays well but still doesn't have much to fall back on (very little savings, no car, no health insurance). There is no question that we love each other, we didn't break up over that. He basically said he needed to get his life back on track (had been drinking alot etc) so I'm going to give you the same advice that I've been getting & that Lost said..the guy will contact you/get back with you in time if he really wants to. They need to figure out where there life is going & where they want it to be. If he really cares that much about you he won't let things end for good. For now it's just a waiting game, it sucks I know, but there's not much else to do after you tell them how you feel.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2006): What's next? Nothing. Its over. He told you you pushed him away, and now just wants his stuff back. Let him have it. When he comes to get his things, don't ask for another chance. You have already done that, and gotten his answer.
Its quite possible that he offered to mow the lawn because he feels some sort of responsibility, or feels bad he moved out when you want the relationship to continue and he clearly does not.
Why don't you just accept that he's gone - after all, he wouldn't have moved out if he still wanted to be with you, would he? and think about getting on with your life, instead of how you can get him back.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (26 September 2006):
 If he left there is no getting him back until he wants to come back. I think he comes around because he does miss you and want to see you. He just has to much pride to actually say, "I want to be with you" or "I really miss you". Give it time and let him get past whatever it is that he is going thru. In the mean time you should just relax and enjoy the single life for awhile. When he wants to come back he will but you can't rush it. You'll just push him away if you pressure him on it. Be open and honest but let him have his time.
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